They say that in love three is a crowd! It is not true, if you are on one continent and your loved one is on the other and between you is a telephone.
You shouldn't underestimate the role of telephone conversations. Let's talk about it!
When is it timely to ask for the phone number?
Not to make personal remarks, let's make up two characters. Let one of them be called Bruce (I like «Die hard»), and the other one – Bill (I don't like Microsoft). :))
Bill dials up the number of some pretty Russian woman and hears the man's voice.
- Hello, may I speak to Natasha?
- (in reply he hears only Russian words, but he understands by intonation that nothing good will come out of it).
- Natasha, Natasha! - repeats Bill. Natasha comes up to the telephone and he hears her sleepy voice:
- What sort of Bill?? I don't know any Bill! Who permitted you to call me and moreover at 6 o'clock in the morning?
- Who is that man? Are you married?
- He is my father, I live with my parents. Listen, I don't understand anything, I don't know who you are. Write me a letter first and tell me about yourself! And now I am going to sleep.
- Natasha, but I... (hears only pips)
Well, you see that our Bill is a loser. He does everything wrong! One shouldn't give a ring to a girl without introducing himself in a letter first. Would you like it if strangers called you and tried to get acquainted?
The second mistake is: if Bill had exchanged at least some letters with Natasha, he would have known that she lives with her parents and wouldn't have made that awful scene of jealousy at his first telephone talk! Do you think it never happens? How many times I had to console our clients that had rung off without listening to the woman's explanations at all. They wrote us letters full of complaints that the woman is married, that she has already settled her personal life and just wants his money. It would be funny if it were not true! :)
The third mistake. One should ask permission to call. You will kill three birds with one stone:
1. She will wait for your call, think about you.
2. She will be prepared for the call; if her English isn't very good, she can put a phrase book near the telephone, revise some phrases, write some questions beforehand. Then your conversation wouldn't be like the cries of two agitated geese! :)
3. You can agree the time of the call beforehand, then she will answer the phone herself, but not her relatives, and you will have a lot of time for talking.
The first conversation: what and how?
Well, it seems Bill made all possible mistakes. My favorite Bruce isn't like that. He is a real gentleman and women get crazy about him! :)
He asked permission to call beforehand, after exchanging some letters with the girl. And now he calls at the fixed time.
- Hello, can I speak to Svetlana, please?
- It's me.
- Hello Svetlana! It is Bruce. Glad to hear you!
- Me too, Bruce.
- In your letter you wrote that friends call you Sveta, can I call you so?
- Yes, certainly.
- Sveta! Do I pronounce your name correctly?
- You do. And how do your friends and parents call you?
- All call me Bruce. You have so beautiful voice, Sveta!
- (Sveta is laughing)...
Well, this conversation is going to be long, we won't continue eavesdropping on them! Let's emphasize the main points.
Bruce shows that he read Sveta's letter attentively, he shows his sincere interest to her, says compliments, flirts with her.
It is the perfect first conversation. Imagine that your voices must get acquainted too, get to know one another, get accustomed to one another. Psychologists would add that people become much closer through hearing each other's voices. Our experience proves it as well: the quickest marriage in our agency - in half a year after acquaintance – happened after a couple had chatted on the phone for several hours running every day.
By the way, huge telephone bills are an excellent weapon against immigration officers that suspect everyone in sham marriage. Don't throw away the bills, but give them to your fiancee before she goes to the interview. Alongside with your letters and common photos, they will make a good file that proves your sincere relations.
After that telephone conversation Svetlana received pink roses – the symbol of tenderness. It is not an obligatory thing to do, but as I said, Bruce knows how to charm a woman! ;)
How to get an address?
Bill pays $15 for each address and telephone number. Sometimes he purchases 5 addresses at once for $50. He still doesn't want to correspond, but gets to direct communication straight away. However few girls agree to communicate with him «blindfold», without his photos and at least an introductory letter. It turns out that Bill pays money, but gets nothing in return!
Probably, Bill has a bad dating consultant?
Bruce bought Golden Membership and monthly gets 5 addresses and phone numbers for free. To get them he makes the following steps:
- goes to the personal page of a woman
- clicks on the button «Retrieve address»
- enters his e-mail address and password that he stated at the registration.
- after that he receives full contact information at his e-mail box.
And if a woman objects to give her phone number?
Sometimes there is no telephone number in contact information. It may mean that either she doesn't have any telephone number she could give to a foreigner, or she just doesn't want to be called. In the latter case, the way out is just one – correspond with her and after you establish good relations, ask her what she thinks about telephone talks, whether she has an opportunity to talk on the phone?
Sometimes in the letter with her contact information there is a phrase instead of her telephone number: «Has a phone number, but it is not available for public use, please send her a personal letter with request»
In this case, you should write to her and say about your desire to call. If it is possible, a woman will give you her number. I must confess that it is not always possible. For instance, her contact phone number is her work one. Imagine yourself in the role of her boss! :)
If her sister's number is stated, probably you should agree the time of the call, so that she could come to her sister at the fixed time and wait for your call.
Anyway, discuss it with the woman. Sometimes the reasons of refusal to speak on the phone can be just comic. Women can have all sorts of reasons, don't be shy to ask about them. Only the one who asks gets the desired!
The language barrier
Remember, our Bill strongly objects to correspond? He prefers to call his «victims». It is just because he is afraid of the language barrier. He needs a woman who would speak English very well since the very first conversation. It goes without saying that it narrows greatly the circle of his potential partners. He constantly has to seek a compromise between attractiveness and her knowledge of English!
By the way, Bruce isn't afraid of the language barrier and sometimes he calls his beloved in the evening to wish her good night. She understands little of what he says, except «Good night, dear!», but these romantic gestures make her smile and fall asleep with thoughts about him.
And why doesn't she call?
Once Bill decided to follow the example of Bruce and to make a romantic gesture. He ordered flowers for the girl he liked most of all and enclosed the message:
P.S. Call me at xxx-xx-xx love to talk to you»
And he received the following response:
Thank you very much for your surprise! It was very pleasant. Now it is interesting for me to know about you. Unfortunately I cannot call you. But if you want, write me through the agency. Thank you again!»
It seems Bill failed again, didn’t he? Why the girl can't call him?
The cost of the telephone talks in Russia is very expensive. There is no competition among telephone companies and so they can charge any prices. And women can call only at some emergency situations.
Well, whatever Bill and Bruce did, they both understand that telephone talks are very significant, as they really help people become closer to each other. Think about how you can apply it in your life!
What do you think about it? Let’s discuss!
If you want to specify something or learn something in more detail, don't hesitate to ask your question and you will surely get the response from the author.
If you have an interesting story on this subject, share it with us!
Post USSR countries telephone city codes and time difference
Ukraine cities telephone codes and Ukraine time difference
Kazakhstan city telephone codes and Kazakhstan time difference
Uzbekistan city telephone codes and time difference
Belarus city telephone codes and time difference
Russian city telephone codes and time difference
|#1 tom (America) at 2007-03-13|
|First of all I want to say what an awesome job you are doing. Thank you. I was wondering beside moving to Russia which is not happening what is the best way to learn Russian? I have looked at acouple of sites but didn't find much. What do you suggest. The woman that I have been emailing with is from Kazan and we will soon talk on the phone. She speaks English but I don't speak Russian. Thank you for your help.|
|Author's answer: Thank you very much for your kind words.|
I think that it is better to learn any language with a teacher on courses. Because your progress in learning language will be controlled and besides it will be a direct communication. But if there are not courses teaching Russian in your city, there are a lot of computer programs teaching any language. I think you can find such CD or DVD teaching Russian in America.
These programs are quite effective. I saw such program teaching English. It was interesting and exciting and your progress and mistakes are controlled by computer teacher. To tell the truth it will be ideal to add communication with Russian-speaking friend, if you have such.
I don’t doubt that after learning Russian by such a way you will be able to amaze your lady speaking Russian to her.