Chanceforlove.com
   Russian wives and travel companions

Essentials archive:
Resources archive:
Articles archive:
Facts on Russia:


Long-term relationships challenge our capacity to maintain the vitality and energy of our feelings.

Date: 2007-12-27

It is the subject of songs and the theme of movies; it has created an industry in fiction writing, the romance novel. The beginning of love is wonderful. But the test of love comes over time, the time beyond the courtship and honeymoon phase.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge goes beyond simply getting along. There are lots of couples who get along but lack spark in the actual relationship. Some of these couples have excluded anything controversial from their relationship in an effort to keep the peace. It is a peace that comes with a price.

Not being truly open because it may "stir things up" is precisely the wrong thing to do. The spark comes from being emotionally open in a relationship and allowing the other person to do the same.

BEING OPEN

Being open requires that we make our feelings known when we talk about things that are important to us and that we stay emotionally connected to our partner when he or she thinks, feels, and believes differently; we don't waste our energy trying to change or fix each other.

Yes, creating and maintaining a vibrant love through the process of revealing yourself, warts and all, can be a frightening prospect.

DITCH THE CAUTION

To do otherwise, to play it safe and avoid the risk of being open, or to discourage your partner's openness because it doesn't conform to your views is the biggest risk of all. It will, with certainty, drain the relationship and leave it empty. The excitement of the early days will become a distant memory to be mourned. This is so because the liveliness of relationships, the very core energy of love, is fed by the openness that comes from the heart.

AVOID DECEPTION

Every experienced couples therapist will tell you that openness is at the root of the strongest relationships. We also know deception in all its forms is the enemy of a rich and vibrant love because it is the antithesis of openness.

Deception is a tough and tricky enemy. The training starts innocently enough with the little white lies of childhood. We learn about white lies from our parents, from our peers, neighbors and the other adults surrounding us.

LIKE AN INFECTIOUS VIRUS

Easily influenced as children, it is not long before - whether our motives are well-intentioned or not, conscious or well defended - deception becomes part of our existence. It wears countless faces and sometimes like a seasoned actor, it transforms to the point of slipping into our lives barely noticed.

THE NEED FOR APPROVAL

It's ironic that people who are sharing their lives are often less open with each other than they are with other people who are not as important to their lives. And therein lies the rub. It is because a person is important in our life that we become guarded. Their view of us matters more; they are central to our lives, and we want their validation.

We want them to see things our way, especially those things dear to us. If one is excited by a movie, he or she wants the other to be excited as well. If one has a difficult experience and is upset, and the other is not, that may cause a problem; one or both feel the other is reacting improperly. If one feels like sex and the other doesn't, there is resentment.

WHICH ARE YOU?

When I go into a restaurant and glance at the couples, there's a palpable difference in energy levels. Some couples are animated; others are staring past each other. Often the energized couples are dating and the stale couples are married. The married couples have already talked about the kids and gossiped ... there's not much left they're willing to get into.

Source: http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071224/LIFE03/712240307/1079/life





Your First Name
Your Email Address

     Privacy Guaranteed



GL52081914 GL52074692 GL52081962 GL52080057


  

      SCANNED November 11, 2024





Dating industry related news
Less weddings in the Basque CountryPeople are still being duped by dishonesty because schemes are becoming more sophisticatedA group of Russian brides are accused of marrying U.S.--not for love, but rather to stay in the USA
In 2006, 9,778 weddings were held between residents of the A.C. of theBasque Country of different sexes. In recent years, there are more civilweddings, going from representing 23.3% in 1990 to 48.2% in 2006.amplify imageOver recent years, the number of civil weddings has increased. Photo: EFEIn 2006, 9,778 weddings were held between residents of the A.C. of theBasque Country of different sexes, 423 less than the previous year,according to Eustat data. Over recent years, the number of civil weddi...INCREASINGLY sophisticated and ``corporatised'' scammers are ripping offAustralians to the tune of $700 million a year, with lonely hearts thelatest target.The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission says people are stillbeing duped by dishonesty because schemes are becoming more sophisticated,technology is available to reach a wider audience and approaches arebecoming more believable.``The inheritance letters you get are not the dumb ones we used to get thatused to have spelling mistakes...There's a stunning crackdown on an alleged marriage scam involving American sailors -- a scam that's raising serious national security concerns.A group of Russian brides are accused of marrying U.S.--not for love, but rather to stay in the United States. More than 30 alleged bogus husbands and wives were arrested Wednesday, charged with marriage fraud. Investigators with the Virginia Beach Police Department say the sailors were in on the scam which ultimately cost the Navy about a half-million d...
read more >>read more >>read more >>
ChanceForLove Online Russian Dating Network Copyright © 2003 - 2023 , all rights reserved.
No part of this site may be reproduced or copied without written permission from ChanceForLove.com