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They met online almost two years ago. She was a widow in Hudson, Ohio, who
wanted to ease back into the almost forgotten world of dating. He was a man
who'd faced a different kind of adversity.
Chased from New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina, Todd described moving to
Africa to run an orphanage. Life there was hard, he wrote, and sometimes,
despite his best efforts, children died.
By the time she realized Todd's story was fiction, Terri had lost $110,000.
"We call them 'sweetheart swindles,' " Susan Grant, director of the National
Consumer League's Fraud Center, said of the growing scam that exploits
people looking for love.
Working from overseas, con artists cruise dating, matchmaking and social
networking sites for victims. Some operate sites advertising foreign brides
or send provocative notes as spam.
"It's both men and women who are being approached," Grant said.
In July, the fraud center created a separate reporting category for
sweetheart swindles. Grant said that, in just three months, that category
had collected more complaints than some common frauds, like work-at-home
schemes, had collected all year.
An investment of time
Unlike most scams, where perpetrators strike swiftly, dating scams are
confidence games that unfold slowly.
Terri, who asked that her last name be withheld, said she corresponded with
Todd for four or five months before he requested any money. "I got too
comfortable," she said. "The flags didn't go up."
She met Todd through a Web site for seniors interested in meeting other
seniors. She was 60 years old and missed her late husband, who had died a
few years before. "I was open to a conversation that would lead to something
permanent," she said. Soon, they were spending a half-hour to 45 minutes a
night sending instant messages, sharing details about her grown kids and his
young charges.
They traded pictures. His showed a kind-looking man with a shock of white
hair and an open smile - it was the face she thought of as she sat at her
computer, chatting with someone half-a-world away.
After months in which their romance seemed to blossom, he said he wanted to
return to the United States to open a day-care center and be with her.
There was just a small catch.
Todd claimed two children at the orphanage - a 9-year-old girl and a
6-year-old boy - had captured his heart. "He couldn't leave and leave those
two kids behind," Terri said.
He asked Terri if she would adopt the children so that the three of them
could come to Ohio together - a ready-made family. Even though Terri had
grown kids of her own, she was willing to give the children a fresh start.
She began sending adoption fees to the Nigerian officials Todd put her in
touch with.
At one point, Todd called and put the girl on the phone. Terri remembers the
girl saying, "I wish I was there with you."
It was supposed to cost $35,000 for each adoption, but there were endless
snags and extra fees. Months later, when Terri counted it all up, she
realized she'd sent $110,000.
She contacted Todd in a panic. His answer was curt: "You can't have your
money back."
And that's when she realized it had been a scam.
His claim on you
Grant says the sweetheart swindle takes many forms.
Often the perpetrator acknowledges being outside the United States, although
many claim to be Americans traveling or living abroad, usually for work.
After developing the relationship over an extended period, the scammer asks
for cash.
"They're in love with you and need money to come to the U.S. and visit you,"
Grant said. Or they're en route but are detained at an airport and need
funds.
Sometimes a scammer claims to be injured - or claims he's in a place where
he can't get access to his child, who needs emergency care in a third
country.
U.S. postal inspectors first noticed scammers' move to online singles sites
in 2004, when inspectors seized packets of counterfeit postal money orders
coming into the United States. At that time, the scammers were asking their
unwitting American sweethearts to mail letters for them in the United
States. The letters, which contained fake money orders, were intended for
victims of other scams.
It's not surprising that foreign con artists are moving from using their
sweethearts as accomplices to directly victimizing them. Scammers are always
looking for new ways to package old scams, and singles sites give them
plenty to build on: The people who post are willing to read e-mail from
strangers. They often share information about themselves, ranging from their
likes and dislikes to their income levels. And each one is hoping for
romance.
Missing the signs
Grant says the love aspect of the scam often blinds victims to the
inconsistencies or improbabilities in the scammer's story. "It's human
nature," she said. "They're just looking for confirmation it's real, rather
than a sign it's not."
Terri even shrugged off warnings from her grown children, who were alarmed
when they couldn't find Todd through Internet searches on his name, his
alleged orphanage in Nigeria or the orphanage he claimed to have run in
pre-Katrina New Orleans.
Terri said she was so wrapped in the web Todd spun that she ascribed her
children's objections to jealousy over the prospect of having new siblings.
After Terri was ripped off, she began searching the Internet, looking for
information on scams. She found a site that described Todd's scam and,
through it, began corresponding with a woman who claimed to be another
victim. When the woman said she was traveling to Nigeria to get her money
back and asked Terri to help pay for the trip, Terri realized she was
corresponding with yet another scam artist.
But since Todd struck, her rule has been to immediately sever ties with
anyone who asks for money - a strategy Grant wholeheartedly recommends.
Besides, Terri said, she doesn't have any money to give a scammer anyway:
"I'm totally broke." Nowadays, when her daughter brings the grandkids for an
overnight stay, she picks up milk, eggs and bread because she knows her
mother can't afford the extra expense.
From time to time, Terri still gets e-mailed come-ons that are replicas of
Todd's story. She figures he sends it to so many people, he doesn't realize
he's sending it to a past victim. That is, if he's really a single
individual at all.
"I would never have imagined myself being in a situation like this," Terri
said. "After being a widow, I was just too open. I think the problem was I
was just too open."
Source: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2004052360_swindled05
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