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America is bombarded with advertisements on how to meet one's mate over the
Internet. Match.com promises, "We're so sure you'll meet someone special
within six months, that if you don't, we'll give you six months free." Even
Dr. Phil ends the commercial by telling you that "It's OK to look." eHarmony
commercials show happy couples dancing to the lyrics,"This will be an ever
lasting love."
As strange as it may be to some people, online dating services are a
lucrative industry that Americans spend over $500 million a year on,
according to the Online Publishers Association.
Even though popular movies like "Must Love Dogs" and "You've Got Mail" seem
to have popularized meeting people through the Internet for those who are
middle-aged, New Paltz students are not convinced that online dating
services and meeting people over in the Internet in general is a method that
they want to explore to find a romantic partner.
Some students felt that online dating services were only for the lonely and
desperate.
"It's for people who have no real social skills and lack self confidence
because they think they can't find someone in real life," said Andrew
Latini, a senior art education major. "They're insecure."
But for many students, particularly females, the main concern about finding
love and romance on the Internet is possible danger. Sophomore biology
major, Sharon Mangat, is convinced that the Internet is simply not safe for
meeting people.
"It's a little scary because at least when you meet someone in person you
have a better shot at reading them," Mangat said. "You can sense things from
one's body language, tone of voice and so forth that you would never be able
to get from an online chat."
Mandi Palmer, a junior psychology major, admitted that dating online had
never occurred to her as an option, "Maybe because of how protective my mom
was in warning me of how dangerous it was. You are much more susceptible to
people who lie about who they are."
Palmer knew someone who learned this the hard way.
"I had a friend in high school who had two experiences with online dating
and neither were good, "Palmer said. "One guy wasn't who he said he was. He
used a fake picture and it went on for over a year. Eventually he felt bad
and fessed-up about it."
However, even if the people one meets online are who they say they are,
there is still a risk for danger.
"I had a friend who met a guy online just to hook-up with him and he ended
up giving her HPV," said Courtney Gerken, a junior communication disorders
major.
But Nick Hall, a senior journalism major and frequent online gamer, believes
that though meeting people over the Internet to date can be tricky, it's
possible. Hall has gamed online for years and as a result, has formed strong
friendships that have lasted over a decade with some of the people he has
gamed with. Hall said that while he would never use the Internet to find a
romantic partner, he believes it's the only option for some people.
"It does have its virtues because there are some people who have no hope of
meeting people outside the Internet," Hall said. "It's also not easy to meet
someone when you live in the middle of nowhere."
However, Hall does not believe that people should go through online dating
services such as Match.com or eHarmony if they are interested in meeting
someone over the Internet.
"The problem is that you go there with high expectations," Hall said. "It's
also not how you would normally meet the person. The only thing you really
have in common is the use of the Internet."
Palmer agreed. "When you meet someone offline, you form an initial
connection right away in your interest of where you are, what you're doing,
the same college you're attending, where as you wouldn't have that online."
It seems that New Paltz students will be sticking with the traditional
method of meeting people in person to find dates and a potential love
interest.
"I think it's just a personal choice that anyone could opt for," Mangat
said. "I have seen it work for other people, but it's just not for me."
By Amy Lubinski, Copy Editor Source: http://oracle.newpaltz.edu/article.cfm?id=3423
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