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The book is a collection of answers to questions and dilemmas young
religious men and women face when they look for a partner, before the
wedding and during marriage. The book was written by leading rabbis and
professionals.
Dating and marriage have always been a hot topic in the religious sector.
Yet, these conflicts were frequently ignored or quietly alluded to. The new
book is the first indication of a shift in attitude.
Alongside trivial questions such as "how do I know he's the one?" and "how
to overcome a fear of intimacy?" - there are columns that shed a light on
religious couplehood. One of the articles, for example, presents Rabbi
Shlomo Aviner's view about proper etiquette during the engagement period.
Titled, "Let's Save it Till We're Married," the article refers to a letter
written by a young woman to her fiance to explain the appropriate behavior:
"I decided, we will not talk about the wedding night. You have your groom's
guide and I have the guide for the bride-to-be. We will not meet again in
the park at night. My heart tells me that is a sin."
Rabbi Yoav Malka deals with the instruction in Pirkei Avot to keep
conversation with the woman to a minimum. Malka explains that a man must be
careful not to be overly-influenced by his wife: "Women's verbal abilities
are higher. Their proficiency and fluency might make the man feel inferior
and damage his self-esteem and sexual identity."
In another article titled "Dealing with Daily Hardships" a young husband
asks Rabbi Rafi Feuerstein what he should do about his wife who ignores his
advice. The Rabbi begins his answer with an explanation of the differences
between men and women: "Men tend to keep their problems to themselves, while
women love to share. Women want to be listened to and do not necessary
appreciate an advice: If you project humility, patience and true interest,
she will be more open to hear your practical advice."
Source: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3475241,00
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