Other common symptoms include cult-like devotion to self-styled "experts" (dating gurus, sexologists and the like) who possess an uncanny ability to severely over-complicate inherently simple things such as:
Attraction
Does he think you're hot? Discover this and more by studying the secret language of his nasal hair.
Post-coital correspondence
How to tell if it's true love: If he thinks you're wife material, he'll text within six hours of your first shag.
Dating
Mastering the art of speed dating: how to know if you'll want to bear his children in just six minutes.
If you find yourself trembling with excitement at any of the above, seek help immediately. Or wear a blindfold if you have to for a week or two, as the only known treatment is complete abstinence from any material offering this kind of advice.
In an effort to counter this frightening development, we've come up with our own "guide", which cuts to the chase faster than a Swiss Army Knife.
It's really quite simple.
* You don't need a PhD in relationships to have one or keep one, despite the frightening volume of material available on the subject.
* We're really just a bunch of animals. The basic primitive rules of attraction really haven't changed all that much. You like him, he likes you, bingo, you "mate". If you don't like him or vice versa, you don't. Easy peasy.
* Onto sex. We've been doing it since the beginning of time, ok, so there's no reason why now, all of a sudden, we need a manual to show us how. So burn that copy of Hot Sex now please.
* Beware of any material featuring the phrase "bedroom etiquette" - it's sex we're talking about, not which fork to use with your starter.
* As for the regularity with which you should be doing it: some people like to do it a lot with a lot of different people. Some people like to do it frequently with just the one person. And some people don't like to do it very often at all. That's it.
The question should be asked: why do women worry so much about this kind of thing, when men don't seem bothered (when was the last time you saw the "Men's guide to romance and dating"?).
And before you explode into a tirade and accuse me of peddling cliches and stereotypes, check out the number of magazines offering these stories. Someone buys this stuff. Actually, tens of thousands of women do.
The question is, why, when all it does is a) state the bleeding obvious or b) deliberately over-complicate things, which only confuses us even more?
Posted by SMH Online
