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A MODERN man I might be but when my partner asked if I'd like to take her surname when we married, I had little hesitation in saying "I don't think so".
I suspect her question was a tease, but it did make me question why I should have expected her to take on my rather lengthy, clunky and often misspelt moniker. She decided to keep her name, adding: "It's an old-fashioned thing anyway."
Old-fashioned is something of an understatement, as it stems from a time when a wedding meant the groom took the bride as his chattel – or property – and changed her name to show ownership. Such subordination has been buried under many decades worth of confetti, burnt bras and equal rights laws.
Yet the tradition endures, even though these days a woman's decision is based more on career or the chance to get rid of an awkward or embarrassing surname, than to risk trampling on the graves of suffragettes. But while the voices of the traditionalists tend to stay quiet, there's a vociferous – almost militant – wing of women bidding their peers to keep their names.
When Australian champion hurdler Jana Pittman became a Rawlinson, it prompted one columnist to brand all women like her as being "insecure or conservative or stupid" for "bowing to the wishes of their husbands".
There is no legal requirement in Australia for a woman (or a man) to record a name change, which means no one really knows what decisions women are making.
"Whether to change your name is definitely a hot issue," says Amelia Bloomfield, editor of Bride to Be magazine. She says of the 500 readers who fill in their wedding questionnaire each year, about 40 per cent say they'll retain their name in some way.
"Self-perceptions have changed," she says. "Women used to define themselves by being married – as a wife and mother – but once they entered the workforce they defined themselves by their career."
She says many readers follow their lead from celebrities. Two years after marrying Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore has decided she will change her name on things like credit cards and driver's licences, but will keep her father's name in her working career.
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