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Jealousy can easily become an obsession; someone who suffers from neurotic jealousy constantly imagines situations and relationships where their partner cheats on them, and looks for all the possible indicators of a betrayal. As a result, they are always analyzing their boyfriend’s actions—seemingly trivial details become “proof” that he’s done something wrong. These never-ending suspicions are toxic for the relationship. They can even lead to its downfall if the partner gets fed up of constantly having to reassure them, when in fact they’ve done nothing wrong.
Jealousy can also have a negative impact on self-esteem. If someone is convinced they are being betrayed, they are also likely to start doubting that they deserve their partner’s love in the first place. The jealous person may even come to consider separation if the relationship becomes unbearable.
Don’t panic!
On the bright side, it is possible to overcome jealousy. The first step is to come to the realization that this venomous emotion has become a problem in your relationship. Here are a few tips to help conquer your emotions:
*Try to be objective when analyzing your boyfriend’s behaviour
Take a deep breath, relax, and try to reverse the roles in your relationship. More often than not, you’ll find that you are worrying for no reason.
*Analyze the reason for your jealousy
Question yourself when you’re feeling jealous: are you reacting in such a way because you’re afraid of losing your guy? Do you feel excluded or humiliated? Is the other party really a rival? By doing this, at least you’ll be able to pinpoint the reason for your uneasiness.
*Talk about it!
Talking to your partner about what you’re feeling will help him to better understand what’s going on in your head, and he’ll learn to be more careful and not behave in such a way that could hurt you (without compromising his own freedom and friendships, of course).
*Learn to trust him
Stop believing in your imaginary fears and forget about the worst-case scenarios you keep envisioning. Basing your relationship on such an uneasy feeling could keep you from fully experiencing all the love your beau is trying to bestow on you. Know that if he’s in a committed relationship with YOU, it’s because he’s happy to be!
By Véronique Larivière
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