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Some people say love is in the air, but could it also be in the stars? That's likely, according to astrologers. "Hey baby, what's your sign?" isn't just an antiquated pick-up line. Some people take it literally and use astrology to find their true soulmates.
Not that there are other reasons why someone would or wouldn't be attracted to the opposite sex, but, according to local astrologer Leslie Marlar, there are reasons why you hit it off with some people and not others.
Marlar says astrology is about more than sun signs; it's much deeper than that. Traditional astrological charts usually pair fire signs such as Leos with other fire signs and air signs such as Libra. Earth signs such as Taurus are coupled with other earth signs or water signs such as Cancer.
But Dr. Robin Seibold, a psychologist and relationship expert, bucked tradition.
"I ended up with an earth sign," she says. "I have zero earth. I'm all fire."
Seibold was told her that her now-husband's earthy sign would balance out her strong fiery side, and provide support.
Confused? That's probably because it kind of is. Astrological compatibility is a balance of your sun sign, rising sign and what signs reside in your moon and all of the planets, as well as their exact positions in the sky at the moment of your birth. According to Marlar, this dictates your personality.
"Astrologers look at a person's horoscope, which is not the thing in the paper. It's a map of the sky that they were born under," she says. "If we're going to compare two people, we compare their maps. So I'll put her planets around his planets and we look. Connections in the chart show connections between people, and there aren't any shortcuts."
While sun signs alone can show astrological compatibility to a certain extent, planets and positions can determine whether you've met your soul mate.
Author Gary Goldschneider wrote "The Secret Language of Birthdays," an 800-plus page phenom that divides sun signs into weeks, making personality identification according to sign much more specific. So instead of just Aries, there are five types of Aries, and each type, while being under the same sign and
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core personality, will display unique personality traits based on the birthday week.
He also wrote "The Secret Language of Relationships," which takes this and creates an astrological encyclopedia of best couplings based on birth week. The five categories included in his book reveal the best pairings for work, family, marriage, love and friendship. Goldschneider says astrological charting is a good way to get a feel for the relationship you're in or about to enter, and a good way to anticipate the challenges and road bumps ahead.
"I'm not saying that people are the way they are because of the planets in the sky, and you're neat and tidy because you're a Virgo, but what people are really like (according to their birth dates)," he says. "I'm able to tell an awful lot just from the birth date without any of the other planets."
Goldschneider says even though two people may be fated for each other, it's up to those individuals to do the work necessary to strengthen the bond.
"The way that thing goes and plays itself out is not necessarily the working of destiny, it's the working of the people involved," he says. "This isn't to answer that question -- is it going to work or isn't it. But to point out the difficulties you'll encounter, the joys you'll encounter and if you weigh the pros and cons in that sense, none of us are God, we can't make that judgment."
Marlar says she's seen people whose charts seemed great, but the pair didn't work out in the end because of personal beliefs or circumstances.
"Let's say you have great connections between two people, but only one of them has notions of marriage and the other wants to stay in the relationship until they find someone better," she says. "You have to really know the individual."
Seibold says her first marriage was with a man who was supposed to be her perfect match, another fire sign.
She says people shouldn't put all of their focus on the astrological sign of a person when getting to know him or her.
"Don't put all of your eggs in one basket," she says. "Astrology is just a piece of it. Just one small piece of an individual person."
Not everyone agrees that astrology is a good consideration on choosing a life partner.
Dr. Lee Arnold, president and founder of Keys to Life Christian Counseling Ministry in Melbourne, says the practice of astrology is rooted in witchcraft. He encourages people to keep the stars out of the relationship process.
"The truth is there are no incompatible people, there are just self-centered people that won't make room for another person in their life," he says. "God doesn't hide what he says to us in the stars, but he does create us to look at life in different ways, so there are some real differences between us."
Arnold has his own charts that he uses to determine compatibility, called the Life Language Profile, which covers everything from character strengths and communication skills to how each person handles finances and decorates the home.
"It's so much more meaningful and more powerful," he says. "I've had probably about 95 percent of people who took that profile say to me that they've never really understood (themselves) until they've taken it."
But Goldschneider, who attended two Ivy League schools before he decided to study astrology, says people shouldn't be so quick to dismiss it.
"Everyone knows their name, everyone knows their address, everyone knows their telephone number, and everyone knows their sign," he says. "I don't believe people are stupid. I believe people have a very good idea of what's going on, and I take it as a heavy responsibility."
BY KEILANI BEST
FLORIDA TODAY
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