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So where do you go to find a date on the Central Coast? Dating is a numbers game. Here’s how to increase your chances

Date: 2007-08-29

During high school and college, most of us are surrounded by single members of the opposite gender. Finding appropriate people to date is seldom an issue. The odds are stacked in our favor.

But the situation changes dramatically as soon as we receive a diploma. Suddenly we’re thrust into the work environment with folks who are either already taken or who are decades away from being the right age. Our number of potential partners seems to dwindle the older we get. And if it’s been years since we’ve been in the dating arena, the pool of candidates seems to have evaporated and blown away.

So where do adult singles go to find a date? How can you increase the likelihood of locating Mr. or Ms. Right?

It may be hard to fathom, but there are actually plenty of singles out there who are looking as hard as you are. Be persistent. Don’t give up. And consider these ideas:

• Stay out of bars. Bars are great places to meet people who like to drink. So unless you want to meet a lush, do your looking in more sober environs.

• Do what you like to do. The best relationships are based on common interests so it’s wise to seek out folks who enjoy the same hobbies as you do. Assess what you like. Then head out there and do it.

• Select activities that involve members of the opposite gender. If you want to meet men, consider places where males are likely to be. Perhaps you join a sailing club or take a class on digital photography. To increase your odds of meeting women, attend a cooking demonstration or sign up for Introduction to Yoga.

• Be a joiner. Meeting potential partners doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It requires that you put yourself in repeated situations where you interact with single people of the opposite sex. Enroll in a six-week series of salsa lessons. Join the Santa Lucia Chapter of the Sierra Club. Participate in the Mozart Festival. Attend the singles club at your church. The more people you interact with, the closer you are to finding that special someone.

• Make yourself available. Sometimes people make excuses: “I’m too busy to date,” or “I’m too tired after work.” Yet these same folks often wail, “There’s no one to date in this county!” If finding a partner is a top priority, then give it the time and energy it deserves. Otherwise, admit to yourself, “I prefer being single.”

• Enlist the help of others. Family and friends can be a wonderful source of potential partners. They know you and genuinely care about your well-being. Each person provides an extended network of people, one of whom just may be a perfect match.

• Don’t get discouraged. There’s no magic to dating. It’s a numbers game of sifting through masses of potential partners until you meet one that you like. Don’t be put off by a string of bad luck. And never shy away from a chance to meet someone new. Your attitude is contagious, so don’t let your spirits droop.

• Be happy with yourself. Even if your Prince or Princess Charming remains elusive, you still have a wonderful companion—yourself. Enjoy your life to its fullest, whether there’s a ring on your left hand or not. Who knows, when you’ve finally decided to be the captain of your own ship, you may discover the perfect first mate.

By Linda Lewis Griffith

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