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Finding love in Saudi Arabia is practically impossible, especially for young Muslim women

Date: 2007-07-19

That’s the premise 25-year-old author Rajaa Alsanea tackles in her novel, Girls of Riyadh, which has already created a stir throughout the Arab world.

“In Saudi, there are a lot of restrictions,” she said during an interview at the University of Illinois at Chicago’s College of Dentistry. Alsanea is pursuing a master’s degree in oral sciences before returning to Riyadh to live with her family, practice dentistry and continue writing fiction.

“We’re living in the 21st century and there are still traditions from the 19th century, and that’s just insane,” she said. “You have the Internet ... and freedom of speech. You have modern schools and modern hospitals. And everything around you is digital. And yet you have to go through all this pain when you want to get married.”

Alsanea, dressed in black scrubs with a pink long-sleeved undershirt and matching hijab — a Muslim woman’s head scarf that signifies a strict code of behavior — said she wrote the book as a criticism of her homeland.

“It’s my obligation to try to fix things in Saudi. I’m not trying to fix the government or Islam. What I’m trying to fix is mentality, how people think. It’s the traditions,” she said. “These traditions, either (need to) loosen up or we should get rid of them.”

The novel, her first published work, examines the love lives of four 20-something Muslim women in upper-class Saudi Arabia. In the book, an anonymous writer sends a weekly e-mail to thousands of Saudis. The e-mails tell the stories of the writer’s friends — Gamrah, Michelle, Lamees and Sadeem — and chronicles their courtships, which are tied in to family approval, social class and religion.

Gamrah, from an ultraconservative family, marries a man her parents choose and follows him to the United States. She soon discovers he’s already in love with someone else and only married Gamrah to obey his parents. Gamrah returns home heartbroken, pregnant and unsure of her future.

Despite the buzz surrounding her book, which was released last week, Alsanea has no desire to pursue writing as a full-time career.

“I always say that writing is for my soul. Dentistry is a job, a skill, something that introduces you to people,” she said. “I don’t want to do writing as a job.”

She has not been writing while in dentistry school, something her family greatly values. Three of her five siblings are doctors, the other two are dentists. Even so, her family has been immensely supportive of her novel.

Alsanea, who learned to read and write by age 6, said her late father was her biggest inspiration to write. He would ask her to read the newspaper aloud in Arabic and he would correct her pronunciation and grammar.

“All his gifts were books,” she said.

Alsanea soon began to express her feelings in writing as “little love letters” to family members.

Through school she developed her creativity by writing plays and short stories, including one she wrote when she was 11 that was told through the perspective of a water droplet. When none of her teachers believed she wrote it herself, she vowed to someday write a book.

She won an overwhelming response from well-known Arab writers in 2005 after the original Arabic publication of Girls of Riyadh in Lebanon. Then 23, Alsanea also got death threats from people who were outraged.

The novel’s content is far from salacious by Western standards; there are no explicit references to sex. But for some in Saudi Arabia, where Saudi women are forbidden to drive and Islamic law limits the consumption of alcohol and discourages premarital sex, it has been considered scandalous.

In one part of the book, Michelle dresses as a man so she can drive her three friends to the mall for an all-girls outing. In another story, Sadeem sleeps with her fiance after their marriage contract is signed but before they live together. Another character drinks alcohol.

Alsanea said these ideas caused the continued threats, and for several weeks she was afraid to leave the house.

“They said I gave a bad impression of Saudi girls and I’d have to pay for it.”

Some harassment came through anonymous e-mails, which criticized Alsanea for growing up in a single-parent household. Alsanea’s father, who worked for the Kuwait’s Ministry of Information, died when she was a child.

The novel is based on true stories from women Alsanea met at King Saud University in Riyadh, where she completed a degree in dentistry in 2005. During each summer vacation she would pen versions of what she had heard at school and at social gatherings. Her goal was to write something local to which the young women could relate.

Alsanea rose quickly to the national spotlight, giving dozens of TV interviews and drawing praise from well-known Saudi writers such as poet Ghazi al-Gosaibi, who is one of Alsanea’s favorite writers.

Once the manuscript was finished, she wrote letters and passed on manuscript copies to anyone who had even remote connections to al-Gosaibi. It worked. He called her at home and told her he was impressed by her work. He even wrote a letter of recommendation to his publisher.

Experts of Arab literature say the style of the book and its content fueled the frenzy around Alsanea.

Moneera Alghadeer, a professor at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, published an article this year that analyzed Alsanea’s novel.

She said that although Alsanea’s book, which she calls “chick lit,” is not the first modern literature to plunge into the world of young Arab women, the style is unique. The book makes references to contemporary TV shows and uses e-mails to tell the stories of the women.

“The fact that everyone can read the book and will not have difficulties in understanding it, that made it appealing,” she said. “It’s like pop fiction. This one became more appealing to wider range of people.”

Alghadeer said the text was celebrated in Saudi Arabia and that it was marketed aggressively.

Alsanea took the strong reaction to her book as a sign of how much her novel struck a chord with people.

“People who are not prepared to read something about daily life that is so true — it’s like you told one of their secrets,” she said.

She relied on her family and faith when the book was released in Saudi Arabia, and now her mother is a little relieved that she is spending two years studying in Chicago while things “cool off” at home.

A devout Muslim, Alsanea plans to live with her family until she gets married. But she also plans to keep writing. Her next book will again examine life in Saudi Arabia, but through a different lens.

“Some people say, ‘Just settle and get married somewhere else in another country.’ That’s not an option for me. I’m Saudi, and people have to accept that,” she said. “It’s my duty to shed the light on the things that I don’t approve of. I want to create a better future for my kids in Saudi.”





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