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“I’ve been a matchmaker for some 10 years now and I’ve helped lots of men and women marry. My customers include businessmen, sheikhs and religious scholars,” said Aisha Al-Waheeb, a 50-year-old matchmaker who operates in Makkah. According to her, Saudi religious and social customs separate men and women and therefore there is a need for matchmakers to work as intermediaries to bring couples together.
Speaking about the prospects of marrying women to unsavory men, Al-Waheeb said, “As female matchmakers it’s not our responsibility to ascertain the manners and behaviors of prospective grooms. That’s the responsibility of a bride’s family. We’re just intermediaries.”
The fees charged by matchmakers vary according to the social status of prospective brides and grooms, and on their specific demands. “I have adopted this line of work because my financial status is bad... I charge SR3,000 from men who look for divorced women or widows. If they want to get married to someone who has never been married then I charge SR4,000 to SR5,000,” said Al-Waheeb, adding that she takes a down payment of SR1,000 to SR3,000 depending on the specific details of the prospective bride.
“Brides are required to pay 10 percent of their dowry. That comes to around SR1,000 for every SR10,000 that a woman is given in dowry,” said Al-Waheeb, adding that some people pay the full amount whereas others simply refuse to pay.
“I usually ensure I attend the marriage ceremony to make sure I get my full amount,” she said, adding that she makes it clear that she is not responsible if the marriage fails.
Um Saad, 56, is another matchmaker operating in Makkah. Justifying the fees she charges, Um Saad said, “It takes us great time and effort to look for brides, and therefore we deserve the money we charge. Prices vary from one region to the next. In Makkah the prices are less than what is charged in Jeddah or the Eastern Province.”
She added that prices vary according to the nationalities of those involved. “Getting a non-Saudi bride is cheaper than a Saudi, especially since many non-Saudis want to marry Saudi men to get Saudi nationality,” she said, adding that many non-Saudis pay huge amounts of cash to arrange for their daughters to marry Saudi nationals because of the benefits that come with being a Saudi citizen. “This is what I’m focusing myself on. This is what I’m devoting my time and efforts on,” she said.
Um Jafar, 48, is a non-Saudi matchmaker. “Many men and women ask for such characteristics and specifications that are hard to find. A lot of the people who visit me don’t want to give up on heir demands and so I end up working extremely hard to find them what they want,” she said, adding that she asks for advanced payments to ensure she is paid.
According to Fawzia, another matchmaker, many mothers consult her while looking for husbands for their daughters. “They specifically ask that their daughters do not find out about the plan. On the other hand some husbands look for second wives and specifically ask that their wives do not find out that they’re looking to get married,” she said.
Um Waleed, another matchmaker, said that businessmen and young men whose families do not want them to get married are the ones who mainly ask for Misyar brides.
“They usually look for African or Asian women. However, these women tend to leave their husbands soon after marriage. It’s like they’re only after the money,” she said, adding, “Some young men ask for Misyar brides and insist that the matchmaker don’t tell anyone about them.”
Um Muhammad said that once a man contacted her saying he wanted a Misyar bride. “Later his wife rang me and accused me of having an affair with her husband. I told her that he had asked me to help him marry and she became completely frustrated,” said Um-Muhammad, adding that many men are looking for Misyar brides and would ask for divorced women or widows without children.
According to Um Husain there are many non-Saudi and male matchmakers. Um-Yasir a Saudi matchmaker said that matchmakers do not reveal their names because of tradition.
She added that most matchmakers are divorced or widows.
By Zain Al-Alawi, Arab News
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