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We want to believe that the love we have for someone, the passion we extend, the faithfulness we demonstrate, will be enough to lengthen any shortcoming they may have.
We refuse to believe our intuition about them, or understand what their past behavior says about them, or even what our very eyes show us. We are after all, in love. And there is nothing logical about love.
Illogical. That would be the only explanation for why Jessie Davis was involved with Bobby Cutts Jr.
You must have heard the story by now. Davis had one child from Cutts and was pregnant with a second child from him when she disappeared. Whatever happened to her happened in front of their two-year-old son. Her body was found several days later.
She had been murdered and buried in a shallow grave, the baby she was carrying also dead. Cutts has been arrested and charged with the murders of both mother and child. A female accomplice was charged with obstruction of justice.
Davis’ death was the second disaster in her relationship with Cutts. The first was the relationship itself. Being involved with anyone already married never turns out well, and Cutts was a married man. He had one other child from a former girlfriend.
If none of these relationships had worked out, what made this poor woman think what she and Cutts had was different? What made her believe that he would treat her any differently than he had treated his wife and former lovers?
For that matter, what makes anybody think that past behavior is not an indicator of future behavior? What makes someone not understand that if he was a dog when you met him, he’ll still be a dog when he’s with you?
And if she had no morals when you got with her, why would she have morals after you marry? If he didn’t like to work when you met, why would he change?
We keep falling in “love”with people because of the way they look or what they have. I know of a sister who fell in love with somebody because his dreads reached his waist. While women may be able to get away with that mentality, it can be disastrous for men.
If you marry a stupid woman, no matter how good she looks or what she has, she will produce stupid children.
Who wants to live in a house full of stupid people, no matter how good they look? The first teacher of any child is the mother, and she cannot teach what she does not know.
When we choose life partners, the primary consideration should not be how physically attractive they are, but how intelligent and teachable they are. It should be about their strong moral character, their belief in the Divine and what we have in common.
I keep hearing about how opposites attract. Maybe they do, but why would you want someone whose way of thinking, whose perception on the important things in life, is opposite your own? What comes out of that except conflict?
Yet for women there is another consideration.
Now she has to decide if the man in her life “loves” her enough to kill her. And whether he is capable of doing it in front of a child.
BY RASHEED Z. BAAITH
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