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The Myths Regarding Expensive Dating

Date: 2007-05-30

Forget everything you've ever been brainwashed into believing regarding the importance of spending lots of money on dates. You are impressing nobody by dropping a lot of cash. Instead, you may actually be demonstrating desperation by doing so, if not a downright lack of self-esteem by trying to "buy" someone's affection rather than counting on your own personal charm and giftedness to do the trick.

You've long ago figured out that you are attractive in your own right without having to prop yourself up artificially. So now it's time to live as if you truly believe it. You do not have to spend a lot of money on expensive dinners, lofty bar bills and/or any other such costly entertainment schemes.

In fact, the more natural the setting is the freer you and your date both are to act more like yourselves without any pretense. This translates into a more honest opportunity for evaluation and generally, I might add, a more enjoyable date.

My rule of thumb for planning dates with someone I had a proven interest in was to build the time together around something that I was already planning to do anyway. I happen to enjoy eating out at restaurants, so I had no qualms whatsoever about taking a woman out to eat. After all, if there is a restaurant I'd like to try I would enjoy trying it in the company of someone I like even more, right?

But successful "real dates", for lack of a better description, can be so even if taking someone along with you to perform the everyday tasks of life. I once had an incredible date with a woman whom I took furniture shopping with me. I told her I valued a woman's opinion on the matter and that I would like for her to join me. She was thrilled to do so, and we had a great time. Since my interest level in this woman was high, we shared lunch afterward and spent the afternoon together. But it's important to note that there was no high-pressure "agenda" on the date itself. The entire day flowed naturally based on mutual chemistry. Isn't that how it should be?

On another day I decided to get out of the house for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning prior to plans I had with a group of 20-30 friends of both genders that afternoon. I chose to share a late breakfast with a woman whom I had seen a couple of times previously and ended up truly enjoying our time together. Based on how breakfast went, I suggested she join me for the get together my friends were having that afternoon. We had great conversation throughout the hour drive there and back, and she had a great time at the get together. So overall, we had a terrific day sharing each other's company.

The most crucial takeaway from that story as it pertains to this discussion, however, remains the point that I was going to hang out with my friends ANYWAY that day. Taking my female friend with me was a bonus. And it was an excellent demonstration of the brand of efficiency we have been discussing for the past two sections. The elegance in scheduling combined with the concept of very low financial expenditure had no detrimental effect on our attraction level to one another whatsoever. In fact, the quality of the conversation together in the car combined with her visibility into the fact that I had lots of real friends contributed to her increase in interest level towards me. And I found myself more attracted to her as well by the end of the day.

And that, my friends, is what it is all about.

If you have virtually unlimited financial means and can spend money without the appearance of attempting to "buy" someone's affection, by all means don't let me stop you from doing so. But knowing that dating is a potentially costly sport when spinning out of control, my desire is to free you from any socially-imposed (and misguided) tradition that states that you MUST spend a lot of money to "impress" a date. You most certainly do not. Make this thought process your own and forever banish financial concerns from your dating life.





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