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The steak couldn't have been any juicier, the chocolate cake couldn't have been any richer, and the bill, well, the bill couldn't be any higher. It's your first time out with your dream guy, and as sure as you are that you don't have any food in your teeth, you are clueless about whether you should pay your share of the bill.
It's happened to practically everyone. Someone asks you out, you accept; dinner, movie, maybe some ice cream after, but who pays for what and how can you be sure it's a date?
Hospitality and tourism management sophomore Sarah Johnson experienced an awkward dating moment when she went out to dinner with a man she thought was just a friend.
"He asked me out to dinner, and I was happy to go," Johnson said. "I thought it was a 'let's get to know each other better' dinner."
That wasn't his intention. After a few minutes of chatting at dinner, Johnson found herself in an uncomfortable position. She was sure that he had a different idea of what the dinner meant.
"I could feel that we were on different wavelengths about the whole thing," she said.
Criminal justice administration sophomore Spencer Szczygiel, however, has never yet had trouble distinguishing a romance-driven date from a friendly get-together.
"I have always made sure to clarify beforehand whether I was interested in pursuing something more or just asking as a friend," he said.
Szczygiel said the best way to avoid awkwardness in romance and friendship is to be honest and straightforward about one's intentions.
According to both Johnson and Szczygiel, the one who pays on the first date can easily help those who are confused clarify whether the intentions are romantic.
"If it's just two people out on a date and the guy insists on paying, it's a good indicator that he's pursuing you," Szczygiel said.
Johnson agreed that if a man wants to pick up the bill for everything you do on the first few outings, you can be sure that you are "dating." "It's sort of some unwritten rule that a man pays on the first date if he is interested in a second," Johnson said.
After those first few dates, though, Johnson said it isn't entirely inappropriate and is sometimes even necessary for the woman to start chipping in.
"My boyfriend and I take turns paying now when we go on dates," she said. "Sometimes I think sooner than later is better."
Johnson is a strong believer in equal roles in relationships and said a part of that equality is paying for your part every once in a while.
Szczygiel couldn't agree more.
"I always pay in the first few dates, but mid-relationship it's nice to take turns or split the bill sometimes," he said.
Szczygiel said living on a college budget puts restrictions on how much many college men can afford.
"It adds up real quick; I can't afford to take a girl out every time," he said.
Whatever you do guys, don't lay the pressure on women to pay. Johnson said she has had a few horror stories of guys who didn't know what it was like to treat a woman on the first date.
"I was on a horrible blind date, and when the bill came I had to run to the bathroom so he would get the hint to pay," she said.
Johnson has never been coerced into paying, but that nightmare of a date widened her eyes to how cheap some men are.
Szczygiel said he would never let something like that happen.
"I would never tell someone mid-meal that they had to pay because I was low on cash," he said. "If I don't have money to take a girl out, I'll tell her honestly, 'I can't afford you right now.'"
Men, if you're serious about a date, you should seriously be prepared to pay the bill. And women, if you're not digging him, bring your wallet. Whatever your intentions are, be sure to make them clear before the bill comes. That way, you won't have to wonder why your date seems to be going to the restroom so much.
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