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Online dating has become a staple in the singles world, with sites running the gamut from one-night affairs to religion-based coupling.
When I found myself back in the dating game, the online choices were overwhelming. Which service should I use? Friends had different opinions, debating the finer points of Match.com vs. eHarmony.
No, try AmericanSingles, one would say. Or PlentyofFish, it's free. What about Yahoo personals or MySpace?
As I cruised through the sites, the photos started to look the same, and the profiles read identical.
Nearly every woman I clicked on in the 25-to-33 age bracket was searching for someone with about 22 qualities that must be met: You need to be spontaneous and ambitious, not into games, and you better know how to enjoy a Blockbuster night at home or you are toast.
Now, to be fair, I am sure there are some classic men's profiles out there, detailing the number of cars and boats at their various houses, how many times they visit the gym and a listing of attributes (perhaps mostly physical) that they seek in a partner.
The profiles all seemed to omit any negatives - I figured it was just people accentuating the positives to make a good first impression. But once I chose a site to sign up with, I quickly realized how deceptive these profiles can be.
Why do we try and be something we are not when trying to attract potential dates? Are we doing it in order to be what we think someone else wants? That's easier to do when we can hide behind the computer screen. But there's no hiding when you finally meet in person.
One of the first dates I had was with a woman who claimed to be 5-foot-4. When we met at a bar for some Grey Goose La Poire and appetizers, she was already sitting on a bar stool.
The conversation was snappy and the date went well. When it was time to leave, things changed. I moved forward to finish paying the bartender, and when I turned around, she was nowhere to be found. But she hadn't left; I just had to look down. There she was, all 4 foot 10 of her, ready to stroll Las Olas Boulevard. I hate to sound mean, but it looked like I was on a Big Brothers, Big Sisters outing. For me, it was a deal-breaker.
The next ''date deception'' came with a woman who contacted me first. That's a rarity in my online dating world, so I couldn't pass up on the flattery. I should have known something was up from her photos on her profile. They were a bit, uh, fuzzy. When we met for a drink, things came into focus.
We shook hands, and all I could do was stare at the receding hairline. Not the waiter's. Not the bartender's. Hers.
Talk about awkward. It was so prominent that it was hard to keep from asking about it, perhaps encourage her to try some Rogaine. Thankfully, I stopped myself. But when my ''Operation Eject'' text message came through from a friend, we split the bill and left. (Still the fastest date I have ever had.)
To be fair, I am sure guys don't always measure up to their profiles. Receding hairlines are just the half of it.
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