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Well, this is my first official commentary for The Bachelor: Officer And A Gentleman. As a matter of fact, it was the first time I actually sat down and watched the show from beginning to end. I have always wondered what was more pretentious, the people on the show or the actual show itself. After further review, I would have to go with my original belief. The people on the show. The show is what it is, a medium for entertainment and recreational diversion. The people participating on the show, well that is a whole other matter!
For those who don't know me or know little about me, I am an author, magazine editor and former talk show host. One of my areas of expertise is relationships. For over a decade I spent many hours counseling couples, trying to help them save relationships or their own sanity at best. As I worked longer in the field I found I could help more people through writing books and working as a freelance magazine writer. How times have changed!
I wanted to start writing a commentary on The Bachelor because I wanted to learn more about this show and how it really works. What was it trying to truly achieve. Could it be a means to an end to help one man engage in "operation soul mate" and be successful? Also, would Andy truly be what one woman wanted in her ultimate true love?
Recently, I completed a new book FAST FOOD DATING YOUR 2 CENTS along with my co-author Jennifer Schott who is a former runway model and actress. We wanted to see what the best venue for meeting people for love and romance was. I originally started this project to run as a documentary film called Fast Food Dating Over 1000 served. We took to the streets and Internet and interviewed hundreds of people to find out what venues people were using to meet and what kinds of success they were having. When all was said and done we chalked up the following venues as the most popular or beneficial; Internet dating, telephone chat lines, professional/introduction services, Speed dating, classified ads, singles groups, blind dating, arranged dating, bars and low and behold. Reality television dating!
 Lt. Andy Baldwin with roses for his ladies. As the documentary is still in the works, Jennifer and I finished our now popular book FAST FOOD DATING YOUR 2 CENTS. We have already started the talk show circuit with more prominent ones to follow this fall. By the way, our book was intended to not only be a self-help book, but also a fun and humorous book. We used many testimonials and experiences respondents offered us and at times to not laugh was an impossible option. Trust us! Researching and writing this book was a hoot! It was entertaining, fun and above all else, very enlightening if you are truly and seriously looking for love. It will tell you where to look in both all the right and wrong places. And if you are not looking for love, just to get naughty, then we found out all about that too!
We worked with many agencies and companies who offered dating services. Most were eager to tell us what they had to offer. When it came to finding actual reality shows promoting dating, well that proved to be a different story. They were either difficult to hook up with or few and far between. In the end, we had to rely on the eyewitness testimonials of viewers like yourself and now yours truly. And to be honest, I feel honored in writing this column and having you read it!
I found the show to be highly entertaining and also humiliating to the participants on the show. When I witnessed Tessa, the lovely 26 year old social worker break down it proved what is most entertaining occurs at the expense of humanity. One's feelings. I have little empathy for anyone participating on the show. What is their ultimate motive? We researched this in our book. Is it to get recognition, get rich or get on Entertainment Tonight and other magazine format shows? Is it to truly fall in love with the man of their dreams? Let's face it, Andy is the complete package. What woman wouldn't want a man like that? He represents everything past, present and future in regards to living and being the American dream. One question I do have, and we asked this in our book. Is it to look like a complete horse's ass on national television? The verdict is out as only the participants only know. With that said.
How can you participate in a "dating game" as such and not feel like you are on the show Survivor? How can you leave your emotions at the door and not get hurt? The longer this show progresses, the more invested emotions will be dumped into the ante by some of the lovely ladies on the show. Some will get what they want out of it and succeed superficially, but those with psychological/emotional intrinsic intentions can only come out holding the short end of the stick and or hearts in their hands.
Even though I only watched my first 90 minutes of this show I did see some phonies who are in it to play the game. Let's face it. They are all players at some level. In fact, they are all players to start out. Once this thing goes further, some will still play and some will really pay with broken hearts. Sometimes when you fool around you fall in love without even knowing what the heck hit you! How can you watch an amazing sunset, get into the moment and capture it and then watch Andy go back to the other girls? This must have killed Amber inside.
I can only hope in the end Andy will find his soul mate from the man made pond of fish in it and that fish doesn't bite on the line for all of the wrong reasons. There are some really nice young ladies who have the world in the palms of their hands. Right now youth is king and they don't need self-induced heart ache, but heck if you don't risk it, then you are not truly living, right?
I think there are a couple of great matches for Andy just as there are a few, now make that a couple of kiddies along for the ride. From what I saw and heard, I believe Amber, Bevin, Tessa, Stephanie from Kansas, and Peyton seem quite authentic and seem to know what they want. If Andy was to choose any one of them in the end I think he will have made pretty good choices. Keep one thing in mind, he will be the one who will have to live with them and not me. Hey, what can I say? I said I was better at researching and writing books!
I can't wait to see next week's episode. I am already hooked on Survivor Fiji and now I am probably going to get hooked on this version of dating Survivor! Gotta love it!
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