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No expectations, no disappointment.
That was my mantra when I showed up at Cielo Blu restaurant Wednesday evening for Olympia' s first Spring Fling speed dating e vent. I had never been to a speed- dating event, and neither had most of the other participants I spoke with, so the "no expectations" part was easy as far as the event itself was concerned.
I was surprised how many people had adopted my mantra in the search for their perfect companion. Most arrived with the simple hope of meeting new people, and possibly finding someone com patible to share certain aspects of their lives with.
I have to admit, I was a little skeptical about the success of the event going in because neither one of the organizers, Robin Mascari and Joanne Gifford, had ever tried to host a speed dating event. I was pleasantly surprised to find they had planned this out well, so it put my nerves at ease right away.
Daters were given a name tag with their name and a number on it, and a paper where you would list each date's name and number, and whether you would like further contact with him or her. We also were given a list of potential questions we might like to ask.
The back half of the restaurant was sectioned off for the event, with 15 candlelit tables set up for two. I immediately liked that set-up, as I had seen speed-dating events on video tape that showed a long table where the women sat next to each other, and the men rotated down the table across from you. I wasn't crazy about that idea. Trying to get to know someone is hard enough when it's just the two of you, but when you think that four other people are hearing your conversation, it would seem to me to be more complicated.
A time limit of five minutes per date had been set. That seems like a short span of time, but if you're not going into it with the expectation of learning all there is to know about someone, rather just seeing whether you'd like to get to know him or her better, it's a very comfortable time limit.
There were uneven numbers of men and women, but for the women, this worked out quite well. There were eight men to 13 women, so there were "breaks" in the dating for the gals that offered time to wander upstairs where appetizers were set up, or to stop at the bar to refill a drink, or to just chat with the other "daters." That was surprisingly enjoyable.
I almost had the feeling that if I left there "dateless," I would have made a couple pretty good friends.
As the evening continued, the dating got more relaxed, and laughter could be heard from almost all of the tables. We perused our lists of potential questions, but I'm not sure any of us used them, as just talking about ourselves seemed to work fine.
I got to talking to Darlene Gjelsteen, a dater who is the same age as I am, and out of curiosity asked her what she expected from speed dating. Her reasons for being there mirrored my own: "Companionship, I'm looking for someone compatible to do things with. I'm OK doing things alone now. I've learned to be OK with doing things by myself, but I don't want to anymore, and most of my friends are married."
At the end of the dating, when everyone had met everyone else, we handed over our lists of those dates we thought we would be interested in having further contact with, and the host told us we would be contacted by e-mail with the list of those dates who mutually felt they would like further contact.
The comfortable professionalism displayed by Robin and Joanne made the evening much more comfortable for the daters than I think any of us expected, and I would say if you've tried online dating and it wasn't your gig for one reason or another, give this a try. It's safe, fun, and I definitely would do it again.
Tammy Stevens is a news assistant and blogger for The Olympian. She can be reached at 360-754-5447 or tstevens@theolympian.com. Read Hot Flashes, Cool Dates at www.theolympian.com/living.
Speed Dating
* What it is: Speed dating is a formalized match-making process or dating system designed to allow people to meet a large number of new people in a short period of time.
* Who thought it up: Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry . The first speed-dating event took place at Pete's Cafe in Beverly Hills in late 1998. Soon after, several commercial services began offering secular round-robin dating events across the United States, and it even was featured in an episode of HBO's "Sex and the City."
* Why it caught on: Supporters argue that speed dating saves a lot time, as most people decide whether they are romantically compatible very quickly, and first impressions often are permanent. local events
* Wednesday night's event: With eight men and 13 women par ticipating, organizers say 22 potential dates were made. A date is defined as both people exhibiting an interest in further contact. Participants will receive e-mails with their specific matches.
* Next event: Another speed dating event has been scheduled for 6:30 p.m. April 25 at Cielo Blu restaurant, 514 Capitol Way S., Olympia . Tickets are $35 . Participants should e-mail Joannegolden@earthgrid.com with your age and gender. Registrations at the door also will be accepted, but you must arrive 30 minutes early.
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