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Singles comprise 43 percent of the adult population in the United States. Yet in American churches singles are often ignored. Or worse, unintentionally pushed out by acongregation's family focus.
"I guarantee you 80 percent of churches are doing nothing to target singles," says Dennis Franck, national director of single adult ministries for the Assemblies of God churches. Appointed in 2000 to create a program for his denomination, Franck has spoken in other churches as well to address what he sees—and whatpopulation statistics clearly show—to be a significant ministry need.
Franck spoke with Church Central about the basics of beginning a ministry to singles or insuring that such a ministry is healthy.
What are the essentials of a healthy ministry to singles?
First of all, single adults want and needopportunities for healthy friendships. This is not dating but fellowship. Churches need to provide time for that. In a 60-minute class, 15 minutes should be set aside fellowship. In a 90-minute class, 30 minutes should be reserved for fellowship. Singles need that. It bothers me when parents want to see their kids get married at 25,yetthe church is not providing time to meet other Christians.
Secondly, relevant teaching is important, along with opportunities fordiscussion.Many single adults go home to an empty apartment and a dog, cat or child, buthave no one to talk to about their day. We learn from each other.
Thirdly, fun activities are important. The world is out there offering all kinds of optionsfor single adults. Some are okay. Othersare questionable.
Finally, outreach opportunities should be offered to singles. Single adults can become selfish by necessity. They are the only ones to care for themselves. So we need opportunities for single adults to minister to others.
How can churches best startthis type of ministry?
You’ve got to have a couple passionate people, male and female, who are willing to work, and who have a small team of leaders to head up the ministry. In addition, you should understand the demographics of your church to know who you are trying to reach.Take a look at the database. Ifyou don’t have one, take a survey two Sundays in a row to determine who the single adults are, i.e., young singles, divorced, never married, single parents orwidows. You should also understand the demographics of your community. A lot of times if you build a ministry to singles off church grounds they will come because they are looking for friends.
You have to decide on a model that fits your church, philosophy andcommunity. Kick off a new ministry with an event that is well planned and offers the church’s best to singles. Then initiate a weekly group where these adults can get to know each other and learn.
What are some signs that the singles ministry is not effective?
One sign of trouble is if misconceptions about the ministry are running wild. If people in the church say of the singles ministry, "That’s where you go to find a date," then your ministry has the reputation of being a group for lovers. Somesingles are not looking for dating relationships. But that misconception perpetuates the myth that the purpose of singles ministry is to find dates. That is not the purpose—it’s a bi-product.
Another misconception that will hamper the growth of a singles ministry is that it is a group for the lonelyor losers—weird people. I remind married people and pastors that it doesn’t take being single to be lonely, or weird.
Another sign of ineffective ministry is ignorance on the part of church leaders; they don’t know when and where the ministry meets. I’ve gone in churches and asked and leadersdon’t know. Yet if you ask them when the youth ministry or children’s ministry meets, they can tellyou.
If no one knows about the singles groups, visitors may be misdirected or turned away. If no visitors are coming to singles ministry it is unhealthy and ineffective. Visitors should number 10 percent of your group each week.
A final sign of ineffective ministry is gossip. Single adults are going to talk, but nipping this ministry squelcher in the bud is essential.
When is singles ministry the wrong choice for a church?
When there is no vision for it, no leader, or the pastor is not behind it.
How does an effective singles ministry help a church grow?
Churches can grow by integrating single adults into the overall ministry of a church. Singles ministries help people get over broken marriages, deaths, and other setbacks,but they also integrate these believers into the church. And that’s healthy. Singles ministry is to minister to single adults and to provide a place of ministry for them.
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