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The issue of single mothers is important in Moroccan society today. These women, who are largely young, poor and uneducated, become instant societal outcasts when they find they are pregnant and the child's father reneges on his promise of marriage. Fearing the wrath of their parents, these young women are often forced to flee their homes in fear of scandal and embarrassment in a society governed by customs and traditions.
Many single mothers think about getting rid of the child immediately after birth, sometimes through burying the child alive. Abandoning the child often appears to be the only way for a woman to be accepted back into her family home.
The practice of abandonment causes severe problems for both mothers and their children. Groups which aim to address these problems are few and far between but the National Institution of Solidarity with Women in Distress (INSAF) and the Women's Solidarity Association of Casablanca have been working with single mothers and their children for years.
INSAF director Nabila Tber spoke about the mentality of the single women who come to the association: "The majority of them are despondent upon contacting the association for the first time. They realise the implications on their future in the face of a society that still does not accept such a fate… [O]ur awareness of the problems the subject poses for society compels us to enlist all available capacities to support [these women who] need someone to save them from irretrievable ruin, especially given that no one willingly chose the wrong path."
INSAF's first task with a newly single mother is to establish a bond between the mother and the child. Tber says, "Enabling her to nurse and care for him for a short time leads her to change her decision to get rid of him and gives her an opportunity to become attached to her child and reconnect…with him."
Aicha Chenna, President of the Women’s Solidarity Association, echoes this sentiment. She said that she wants to "preserve the maternal bond and connect the mother and her child, whatever the cost." Chenna recalls seeing a mother nursing her child during his first days. The mother was weeping because she was going to give up her child to the family that was going to adopt him and carry him into the unknown. "The image of this crying mother and the child, who was screaming, was the reason for my commitment to the struggle for every single mother to keep her child," said Chenna.
INSAF helps single mothers find work, find and furnish a place to live and register the children in a nursery school. The organisation closely follows these women’s progress and provides them with additional services when the children are around 2 years old. These services include continued medical treatment and providing medicines and milk for the child in order to lighten the mother's financial burden. "All of this is within the framework of…allowing us to ensure the state of the mother and child together," says Tber.
INSAF helps single mothers find work, find and furnish a place to live and register the children in a nursery school |
Society’s rejection of these women has exposed the concerned associations to many criticisms and even threats.
Although many women take responsibility for their unplanned pregnancy, the difficulty of the situation is compounded by society and affects both the women involved and society as a whole. "[W]e want to rid our society of many of the repercussions that could result in giving up children for the benefit of an ignorant family," said Chenna.
Problems can arise when children who are raised away from their parents do not know their family or personal identity. "[W]e’ve come across the problem of a man marrying his sister, or a father [marrying] his daughter without knowing. We thus strive to help this mother socially in her ordeal so she can keep her children herself, and she will at least guarantee him a part of his identity and origin," Chenna said.
Zahra, a single mother, is aware of this problem. "Today my daughter is 7. I will reveal the truth to her the day I know she is able to understand things. And together we will search for a lost father among the faces—not to ask him for acknowledgement, but only so he can know of his offspring and realise that he might one day be attracted to a beautiful girl, who might be his daughter…"
One of INSAF's other tasks involves registering the child’s civil status to protect him from being abandoned or subject to an adoption in which the child loses all connection to his biological mother. Through this process, the child is given a family name, even if borrowed, rather than the term "Father: Unknown", which could affect the child throughout his life.
INSAF also initiates contact with the single mother’s family in order to bring them closer, search for a means of reconciliation and urge acceptance of their daughter’s new circumstance. "In this way, the mother can reintegrate into family circles. We’ve been able to bring 37% of families together with their daughters, and this percentage is rising," said Tber. In many cases, the associations also make contact with the biological father, whom the association tries to convince to assume his responsibility and recognise his child.
The associations also provide emotional and psychological support for single mothers. When asked about her situation, Zahra said, "I need psychological assistance. I want to talk to people, or more specifically, to those living the same tragedy." Single mother "B.J." asserts, "Indeed we are in dire need of someone who restores our hope in life and in tomorrow, so we make amends for our sin if our mistakes were because of ignorance and poverty…Family has thrown us out, and society would just about destroy us if not for the determination of INSAF and its perseverance in taking on our case with all of its dimensions."
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