They seem to have it all.
Single, successful, attractive, intelligent, articulate, well-dressed, sexy and financially independent women, often in high-powered careers.
They range from mid-30s upwards, and everyone who lives in a big city knows one or even several.
And yet despite their success and ability to get what they want in life, many don't seem able to find the one thing they say would complete it all: A serious relationship -- or even a date.
Now, it's true not all single women want them. Some enjoy their single life and say they prefer to stay that way.
But for a large number of dynamic and successful women, it's not a choice. They say they just can't seem to meet someone special.
Susan, a very attractive Toronto real estate agent in her 30s, puts it succinctly: "I own my own condo, drive a great car and make plenty of money. But I can't find someone to date."
Why not? "I find men seem intimidated by women who are financially independent," she replies.
Are they? Rob, a 38-year-old engineer, disagrees.
"I like a woman to be independent financially," he says.
"But I find they still want the man to pay for everything, though they probably earn more than we do sometimes."
But Rob also makes another important point -- he finds many women are too focused on their career and too busy to give time to a relationship.
"You ring for a date and they say they can't manage the time for at least two weeks or something like that," he says.
"It doesn't make you feel a relationship would be a priority."
But Susan makes the point her career must come first as she doesn't have anyone else to rely on.
"Most men have always put their career first," she says. "Why are they so surprised when we do?"
But competitive careers aside, author and songwriter J.M. Kearns, who grew up in Ontario and now lives in the U.S., will have none of it.
His book Why Mr. Right Can't Find You: The Surprising Answers That Will Change Your Life -- And His was released recently.
"Too many women think fate will take a hand and they'll surely meet Mr. Right somewhere.
"But it doesn't work that way," Kearns says. "Women have to be proactive and have to give themselves more choice."
In fact, he says, somewhat scathingly, many of us put more thought into finding a place mat than finding a mate.
Kearns believes firmly in making online dating part of the search. That isn't surprising.
He met Debra, the "love of his life," online.
She has been his partner for seven years and despite initially living a thousand miles apart, he says they made it work.
"A woman who seriously wants to find a lifetime partner can't afford to neglect the Internet," he states.
But many women say online dating is open to considerable misrepresentation.
"A lot of the men say they want a relationship but only want sex," Pat says sourly.
Pat is a 41-year-old small-business owner who says she has had some unpleasant experiences via online dating. Which is no doubt why the old idea of someone else doing the matchmaking for you is back in vogue.
"Successful people, both male and female, don't have time to spend on an intensive search," says Gloria Macdonald, president of Perfect Partners in Toronto, an executive personal search company. "So they hire us to do it for them.
"The problem is that successful women want a man to make more money than they do, which can be very difficult, if not impossible, to find.
"Women today don't want to support a man."
Considering men have done this for women for centuries, this doesn't seem quite fair.
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LINDA LEATHERDALE
THE MONEY SIDE
They're beautiful, rich, powerful and single. And they're a driving force in our economy.
Yet, they can't find a man.
These are the babes of Bay Street and corporate Canada, who have cracked through the glass ceiling, to enjoy all the perks, including fat paycheques.
You would think men would be falling at their feet.
"I can't remember the last time someone asked me for a date," sighed one of these babes, who's a close friend and whose career flourished from media into a high-powered brokerage in downtown Toronto.
Her fast-paced life is full of meetings, charitable galas and corporate jaunts to New York City, Florida and abroad.When she does put her feet up, it's in her own stunning home in one of the city's most desirable neighbourhoods.
Still, she complains she's lonely. She's not alone.
Many professional women, who put off marriage and babies to opt for a career, complain they can't find a man to fill the lonely nights.
Why? Well, there's likely a number of reasons.
But perhaps the biggest, explains Dr. Sherry Cooper, chief economist of BMO Capital Markets, in her book Ride The Wave, is a shift in the sex ratio.
Cooper, a Bay Street babe herself (sorry guys, she's married), explains when boomer women were getting hitched for the first time, "we could have our pick."
That's because the ratio of males to females was higher from the 1930s to the mid-60s.
Then, the tables began to turn in North America and the sex ratio began to plunge.
Marriageable men were in increasingly short supply until the mid-1980s.
So, if a boomer woman waited -- or found herself divorced -- the choice of eligible men her age slimmed.
And if a guy did divorce or found himself widowed, chances are he would go after a younger woman.
An exception is a real estate guru I know who lost his wife to cancer.
He told me he didn't want anyone under age 59.
I matched him up with a Bay Street powerhouse and today they're happily married.
Then there's this: Most woman who have made it are more selective and set in their ways.
If they demand perfection at work, they don't want to come home to a bum.
"I think a lot of men are threatened by successful, powerful women," divorce specialist Akeela Davis said.
Like Cooper, Davis knows many of these women, and she adds they fear if they do hook up, they could end up losing their built-up wealth to a gold digger.
"Here's where a co-habitation agreement is so important," said Davis, a member of the Academy of Financial Divorce Specialists (afds.ca).
She uses this example: Let's say Bob marries Jane, who's a high-powered lawyer.
He's an aspiring author with no money.
He moves into her home, they have a child, and he stays at home.
But soon Jane gets fed up with coming to home to dirty dishes and diaper pails.
They divorce.
Not only is Bob entitled to up to 50% of the home, but also he could demand to stay in the home to raise the child.
Child support is mandatory, and he could be eligible for spousal support.
Bob could also come after Jane's retirement assets.
For example, let's say her RRSP portfolio was $100,000 when they married and grew to $150,000 at divorce.
Bob would be entitled to 50% of $50,000. Company pensions are also fair game.
If Bob and Jane were just to shack up, he wouldn't get as much, but he would still be able to come after her assets.
As for contracts that dictate who does what, Davis says only financial agreements are legal.
"You can sign an agreement to have sex five days a week, but it won't hold up in court," she said.
