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You may have heard recent reports that 51 percent of women are living without a spouse. We'd like to tell you that's not true.
But the fact is, Americans have become less likely to marry. And social scientists believe the trend will continue.
Today we're going to take a look at a new generation's views on love and marriage.
Lindsey Ramon is a committed Christian, an avid tea drinker, and a Badger fan. She lives in Madison, Wisc. -- where winter brings out the hearty ice fishermen -- and she attends the University of Wisconsin.
She's also a core member of her Campus Crusade chapter. And, Lindsey says, even though she grew up in a divorced home, she's excited about getting married some day.
"We always grew up dreaming about our wedding days and we had them all planned out," Lindsey said.
She used to think she'd marry young.
Lindsey said, "I've always thought that I'd start dating someone in college and get married right after I graduate."
But now, like so many other young Americans, she's in no rush.
"My sister is 27 and single," said Lindsey, "and she loves it 'cause she is in charge of her life. She's doing missions that she couldn't do if she was married and had children."
Social scientists say much of the decline in marriage results from people delaying it. The median age of first marriage for women climbed from 20 in 1960 to 26 in 2005 -- and for men, it jumped from 23 to 27.
Matt Kammerait is another Madison student who says he'd like to marry later.
"There's some things I'd like to do," Matt said, "adventures I'd like to have before that time."
Couples who choose to live together also threaten marriage. Since 1960, that number has increased ten-fold.
Today, researchers estimate that a quarter of unmarried women aged 25 to 39 are living with a partner.
Despite substantial research that shows that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced, many young people believe living together is in their best interest.
Emily Smith of Virginia Commonwealth University said, "Ethically, you know, my mom might not approve, but it will save me being hurt in the long run -- being married, and then realizing I can't live with this person -- I can't function daily."
Marital experts say that living together rips at the very idea of marriage as a lifetime covenant.
"We used to think of commitment as 'til death do us part,'" said Virginia Commonwealth University's Dr. Everett Worthington. "Now, commitment means more 'until something goes wrong -- I'm committed to you.'
And they worry that young people are taking major decision-making too lightly.
Marriage educator Marline Pearson said, "Young people slide typically into sex, or they slide into living together, and they often have no clue where those things will take them - probably, further away from ultimately having a successful marriage."
Marriage is still a high priority for many young people, like some students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
But there is still a deep pessimism. And that's because so many young people have never experienced a healthy marriage within the context of their own family.
Pearson is known nationally for the marriage curriculum she's developed for high school and college students.
She's keenly aware of the destruction stemming from their broken homes, as heard in their music:
Master P sings, "Mama raised me, Mama raised me. Daddy wasn't home so Mama raised me."
These painful family lives, says Pearson, lead many young people to doubt their ability to have a successful marriage.
Noemi Ramirez is one who doubts, although she says marriage is important to her.
"I'm not so confident on it," Ramirez said. "I guess it's something that happens when you find that friend, but I don't know until it happens."
So what's the future of marriage?
With our tendency to delay it, live together, divorce, and viewing it as generally painful, social scientists believe it will continue to decline.
Eventually, they believe the marriage rate will plateau -- like the divorce rate has.
In the meantime, they say, we need to teach the value of marriage to a new generation.
Pearson said, "I believe the habits of the heart begin to take root in the teen-age years."
And that's why Pearson and others are developing marriage classes for teens. "They argue that young people need to learn what a healthy relationship with the opposite sex looks like -- so that one day, they can have a healthy marriage.
"Too often we as parents pooh-pooh it," Pearson said, 'Aw, it's not real love, it's not the real thing' -- rather than really engaging them about these crushes, about handling them, about proceeding cautiously, carefully."
Ultimately, marriage advocates say we must explain the benefits of marriage to young people who may not be convinced.
That means explaining the research that shows married people -- and their kids -- are better off economically, socially and physically.
Plus, new information shows that men give their best to women and children within the framework of marriage.
And finally, those of us who are already married need to know how we can nurture our own marriages, not only for our sakes -- but for the next generation.
By Heather Sells
CBN News
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