|
At least, that’s what a local speed dating company says. Speed dating is based on this principle: You spend a few minutes with one person, then the bell rings and you move on to the next date.
The Moore Public Library held its own speed dating event Wednesday night — Valentine’s Day — for area singles.
I went to it because it sounded funny and a little intriguing. But I left it a believer in, at the least, the legitimacy of speed dating.
The participants, nine men and about twice as many women, began by sitting in plastic chairs in a bare room at the library. Seven tables formed a semi-circle in the other half of the room.
The daters were a diverse group: from 20s to 50s, all shapes and sizes and different styles, too, from cowboy boots to body piercings.
Brenda Johnson, information services manager at the library, explained the rules:
Men and women will sit opposite each other at the tables, she said. They will have three minutes to get to know one another, then the timer will buzz and the women will rotate to the man on their left.
It seemed simple enough.
A comedian began the night, a redhead called “Miss Kitty” who joked about her search for that special someone.
I laughed eagerly, while covertly scoping out the dates.
After the comedian, the men and women took their seats across the table from each other. Johnson started the timer and the dating began.
People started out by asking the obvious questions: What do you do for a living? Where are you from?
After being asked what I liked to do for the third time, I thought I should have prepared some brilliant questions and answers.
That’s not what this night was about, though.
The men and women I met at this event asked serious questions and shared their story honestly — or at least as much of their story as will fit into a three-minute conversation.
Within the first minute of our conversation, one man had laid out his messy divorce and custody battle over his two kids. He wasn’t willing to sugar-coat things to impress someone; those were important issues that whoever he’s with will have to deal with.
With a few exceptions, the people that came to speed dating were there on a mission to find someone. They wanted companionship and something more than friendship, as that same man put it.
When I made comments about feeling awkward, no one joined in to commiserate.
Afterward, most people said they had fun.
A little awkwardness is to be expected on any first date, and the communal atmosphere created by the shared experience of dating actually negated some of that discomfort.
I even started believing the speed dating premise: You find out if you like someone in those short three minutes spent with them.
One blonde man in a blue button-up shirt ran this point home when I asked him what kind of questions he’d been asking people.
He glanced around to make sure no one was listening, and then leaned in close.
Oh, mostly just filler questions, he said. There’s really only about three or four women here I’m actually interested in, he said.
He went on to say that attraction is important to him.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, he said, and she’s got to be beautiful to me.
At first I was shocked at what I thought was shallowness, but then I realized he was right.
Most participants agreed: Speed dating has its merits.
If you are older than 21 and don’t like to go to bars, there aren’t a lot of options for meeting other singles.
Some people — like me — didn’t find anyone they’d want to date, but others exchanged numbers and seemed really interested in someone.
Nearly everyone said they’d try speed dating again.
Perhaps most people would prefer to meet their soulmate in a more romantic manner.
The people who came to speed dating, though, have been around long enough to realize that sometimes things don’t happen like they do in the movies.
Julianna Parker
| 
