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ROSES are red and violets are blue but online dating is not the path to 'I love you'.
Internet dating is becoming a partner-finding method of choice for a lonely hearts generation too tired or too busy to leave their own homes.
But online daters have little prospect of success in finding the love of their lives because web relationships are dominated by wishful thinking, researchers say.
Daters imagine their virtual heart-throb to be much more suited to them than they really are and then, when they meet up in reality, their hopes of a dream lover are rapidly shattered, with women being even more disaffected than men.
The study was carried out by a team of researchers from Harvard Business School, Boston University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who questioned 300 online daters.
The phenomenon is increasing in popularity in Scotland, with a recent survey finding 27% of the population regularly visit dating sites and 17% follow up with a face-to-face meeting.
But the new study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that as daters communicated online they tended to fill in the gaps in their knowledge with positive assumptions, building up their expectations.
Tests found that the less would-be daters knew about each other from online profiles, the more likely they were to think they had found a good match. But when they finally met, initial high hopes soured.
Michael Norton, a senior lecturer at Harvard Business School, said: "Because people so much want to find somebody, we find that they read into the profile what they want to believe about the person.
"But when they finally meet in person, and they find out it's just a regular person like everybody else, they end up being disappointed again."
Women tended to be more let down by internet dating than men. "Women put more stock in the virtual dating world because they seek a soulmate," said Norton.
Some daters do not help themselves, however, especially when they make themselves out to be more attractive than they really are. A separate study of internet dating recently found that men typically fib about their height and weight.
Pam Strachan, owner of the Single Connection club in Edinburgh, which operates in the 'real' world, said: "I'm not surprised to hear about the problems online daters have on their first meeting. When people fill in internet profiles, they all seem to be out to find Prince Charming and they can be very unrealistic."
One online dater, who preferred to remain anonymous, agreed with the conclusions of the study. But the 33-year-old professional from Edinburgh said it would not put her off.
She said: "Online dating can build up your expectations, especially if you spend too long communicating online before you meet in person. I resist the wishful temptation thing by thinking everyone will be a complete moron, so I will be pleasantly surprised."
She added: "I know it's got its flaws, but the men I meet online are better 'quality' than those I meet otherwise. And what else do you do? My friends are mostly with someone. If you go out alone it feels weird. If you're in a group of women you feel unapproachable. I don't really want to meet someone in a bar anyway, and don't want to go out with someone from work."
Katie Gale, a relationship counsellor for online service Match.com, said online dating should simply be used as an introduction agency. "Then meet them in person relatively quickly so you can see if that spark is there," she said.
"It's so wrong to say that online dating is unsuccessful. Be honest. If you say you look like David Beckham but in reality you're more David Brent, of course your date is going to be disappointed."
Love at first byte
Ten ways to find your partner online:
• Don't write too much, it looks desperate.
• Jot down your thoughts before posting them online.
• Organise your words and check your spelling.
• Try not to lie.
• Try to be yourself.
Avoid instant messages.
• Don't volunteer your phone number first.
• If you have not met within four e-mails, forget it.
• Put safety first when meeting.
• If someone has not responded to your e-mail, don't e-mail them again
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