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It's a single-minded town On Valentine's Day, a high number of women go it alone

Date: 2007-02-15
Perhaps Cupid has declared the city a no-fly zone.

One in four citizens is an unmarried adult woman, well above the national average — and no other metropolitan area in the state comes close to touching Eugene's high numbers.

Still, area experts and singles say the winged harbinger of love probably works here in different ways. They cite the area's demographics, coupled with a strong local reflection of social trends that are lowering marriage rates nationwide.

In 2005, 60 percent of women over age 18 said they were living without a spouse, clearing the national average of 48 percent, according to a Register-Guard analysis of the American Community Survey, which takes an annual detailed snapshot of cities larger than 65,000 people.

And many of those are freshly minted adults that can be found congregating near East 13th Avenue.

Eugene plays host to more than 20,000 University of Oregon students, the majority of whom are unmarried. But the census does not look at those who are living in group housing, greatly decreasing the impact the university has on the ACS data.

Additionally, when compared to other cities with colleges such as Salem and Portland, Eugene still has more women living on their own.

The true effect on marriage rates may come from what women do after graduation.

Educated women are the most likely to delay marriage or to not marry at all, said Ellen Scott, director of the Women's and Gender Studies Program at the University of Oregon.

"Educational attainment has a lot to do with labor market opportunities," said Scott, who has not specifically studied the census data. "Women can get better-paying jobs and are therefore less financially obligated to rely on men to provide a decent standard of living."

Singles events throughout the area mirror a push by women to focus on other aspects in life, rather than marriage.

Carrie Stampe, who coordinates local speed dating events around Eugene, was not surprised by the trend. She said both sexes rarely mention tying the knot.

"I don't think (women) are single, I think they just choose not to get married," said Stampe, 28, who is single but feels no pressure to settle down soon. "It seems to be more accepted and strived for in this community, to find a partner but not necessarily a husband or wife. I just don't think that it is the highest goal - the priorities seem to have shifted."

At a singles hike hosted by Mount Pisgah site manager Tom LoCascio, each of the five women were in their late 40s or older, and at least three were divorced.

LoCascio, who is divorced himself, said he began the hike two years ago as a healthy, outdoor opportunity to bring singles together. The hike, which he holds about once every three months, can attract as many as 30 people.

As the group explored less-travelled paths, Irene Bertani of Corvallis reflected on her future. Her marriage of 26 years ended a few years ago, and she said now she just wants someone with whom she can share travel, restaurants and the outdoors.

"To be honest with you, I'd like to meet a gay guy," Bertani joked. "There's no reason to get married. I've learned to be happy on my own."

Fellow hiker Haruko Yamazaki resolved to never marry again after she divorced in 1983 and moved from Tokyo to the United States. She lived in San Francisco until relocating to Eugene four years ago for her retirement.

"I don't date, I'm not interested in it," 63-year-old Yamazaki said. Activities with a man would be limited to a friendship, "no more than that."

And the number of women who choose not to remarry after divorce will only grow.

Rates of divorce are rising, the UO's Scott said, along with the number of cohabitating

partners and single parents, indicating a more liberal attitude toward family structures.

"Eugene is a place that tends to attract liberal people from outside," she said. "That may be a source of women who are choosing not to marry."

The ACS also does not account for lesbian couples who live together but cannot legally marry.

An estimated 336 lesbian couples live in Eugene, according to www.gaydemographic .org, which broke down the 2000 census data - the first census to ask about same-sex couplings, and many believe the tally is on the low side.

"All I know is that the gay and lesbian community is large enough to not know everybody," said Sarah Hendrickson, who has lived with her partner, Gretchen Miller, in Eugene for 27 years. "We've got a substantial gay and lesbian population. (The census) doesn't really catch the picture."

Hendrickson, 60, said the Pacific Northwest has historically drawn gay couples because of its liberal reputation.

In the 1970s, many lesbians came to the area as part of a "back to the land" movement, she said.

"It's a large lesbian community, and it historically has been," Scott said. "And lesbians may marry, but they sure don't get counted as married."

Women in heterosexual relationships tend to outlive their husbands, and the city's large retirement community contains many who are widowed after long marriages - the ACS reports there are 2,260 more women than men over the age of 70.

But women who lament their inability to meet a decent guy shouldn't blame the paucity of single males, speed dating coordinator Stampe said.

"The biggest problem I hear from people here is saying it's hard to meet people," Stampe said. "But they're also not going out and doing something outside of their comfort zone. There's so many opportunities to go out and do things - there's always things going on for any taste."





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