|
I'm not a very good judge of these things, but I'm pretty sure my buddy, Sam Brasses, is dating out of his league.
He met his current girlfriend online seven months ago. We'll call her "Beth" because her name can't be used due to her work. She is a graduate student at SIUE and we'll just say Beth is very tolerant of Sam's ... uhm ... unique sense of humor.
Sam is a retail manager living in St. Louis County, and is hitting one-for-one in the online world of dating. He has unsuccessfully dated several others before he began dating online so I wanted to see how looking online gave him such a boost in the batter's box.
BND: So Beth, how does Sam stack up against other guys you've met online?
Beth: The best yet.
Sam: Yet?
Beth: (laughing) I mean the best ever.
BND: So how does this online dating work?
Sam: Well, we went through eharmony.com and they have several steps you go through. The very last step is communication and they match you up based on an evaluation you take beforehand. The evaluation is a very long survey that they compare with people who they feel will match up well with you. You look at pictures too. I'm going be honest and admit that I couldn't have done it without pictures. I needed some type of visual before I went and (met someone online).
Beth: You don't ever e-mail personally.
Sam: Yeah.
BND: So how was it when you first met? Was it what you expected from the pictures?
Beth: (laughing) Well, Sam walked right by me.
Sam: (a bit embarrassed) Oh yeah, I did. I don't know why I did. We were supposed to meet inside the restaurant and she was outside the restaurant. I thought I recognized her walking into the restaurant, but I wasn't sure. ...
BND: Were you nervous too?
Sam: I was. It was the first time I met her. Obviously, we had talked on the phone but we had never met.
BND: So Beth, did Sam exaggerate at all on his profile?
Beth: No, he didn't. I always try to meet the person without any expectations at all. I wanted to take it at face value.
Sam: I think we were both pretty true to our profiles. I mean, honestly, that's the best way to go because eventually they are going to find out if you take it at all seriously.
BND: Beth, have you ever met anybody online where they had exaggerated?
Beth: No. I haven't met very many people online, though.
BND: Would you two recommend online dating to other people?
Beth: Really, that's how I got started. I had this friend who met somebody through (eharmony) and they were a great match. They were very good for each other. So I had her and other girls trying to get me to do it because I wasn't meeting the right people. So yeah, I actually have talked to two girls who have done it and it worked.
BND: Can you talk a little bit about how meeting someone online compares to meeting someone at a bar or through friends?
Beth: I just told somebody this the other day. I would gladly meet somebody online rather than at a bar because there's no game plan. I hate the game because you never know if he likes me, does he not like me, why didn't he call, why didn't he return my phone call. ... It's basically put out there that we are going on a date the first time we met. There was no game play and that is what I appreciate about it. He's also the type of person I was looking for. I wasn't going to go out with somebody who was living a different life than me.
Sam: You already know you have some similarities and common ground, and that you are there with the same intent to actually meet someone. Not just there to have a good time. Because we knew we had the same intent that definitely helped a lot. It's hard to find somebody with the same values. It's hard to find someone once you enter the working world after college. Really, you are limited to how you are going to meet people. At first, though, it was not something I wanted to do. It was kind of embarrassing.
Beth: Right.
Sam: After you get past that, you don't really care. You realize it's worth it.
Beth: You just laugh at yourself, really.
Sam: Yeah, you can't take yourself that seriously.
BND: Is there any embarrassment whenever someone asks how you two met?
Beth: At first, yes, but now anytime I tell somebody they are not flabbergasted. No one seems to have a hard time accepting it.
Sam: I think so. At first I was more shy about it. I didn't want to tell anybody. I would always try to avoid that (conversation), but I've gotten more confident with it over time. Of course, I don't know what they are really thinking. It's not like they are going to laugh in my face about it. I don't know if that's what they feel or not, but I'm at the point where I realize 'What's it really matter?' If you are with somebody you could possibly be with for the rest of your life, then who cares? I'm definitely glad I did it.
| 
