|
There are 100 million single and unmarried Americans, many of whom are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right and have found a new method of dating. Hearts may now be connected through a pulsing World Wide Web, which offers a plethora of services that have grown in the past decade.
In January, there were 1,463 lifestyle and dating sites available to any Internet user, according to Matt Tatham of Hitwise Inc., and the number is increasing every year.The cyber-dating world is dominated by several large commercial services such as Match.com, eHarmony, American Singles, Yahoo! Personals and LavaLife. Many of these sites existed for quite some time and have evolved to fit the fast-paced lifestyles of today's Americans.
"There is more than just Montrose, or just Colorado," said Montrose resident LuAnn Mahana-Beasley, who has been meeting and dating people via the Internet for the past eight years. "It's opened my eyes to a whole world out there."
The cyber-dating world began around 1995, when a IAC/InterActiveCorp launched Match.com on the Web and became a pioneer in bringing online dating into the mainstream, according to Online Dating Magazine.
Following this new craze was LavaLife in 1996, which bought the URL Webpersonals.com and started a free online dating service in 1997. Lavalife.com wasn't launched until 2001 and Webpersonals.com was combined into the new service.
Friendfinder.com was also launched in 1996, followed by Date.com in 1997.
Match.com has stuck it out and is now the largest and most refined online dating service, with more than 15 million profiles, according to ConsumerSearch. The business recently signed on with TV personality Dr. Phil McGraw, who provide its members with dating and relationship advice.
Rated by ConsumerSearch as the best online dating site for serious singles, eHarmony.com is said to be a more targeted site than Match.com. Its television commercials boast about matching singles based on compatibility with 29-key criteria. The site recently added a new service for married couples.
"I didn't mind the screening process," said Cedaredge resident Terry Marcotte, who has been testing out the online dating scene for seven months. The eHarmony site requires members to fill out a 500-item questionnaire.
Marcotte said he's tried several options when choosing a dating site but had the best experience on eHarmony because of the detailed matching technique. "I feel like there's not as much ground to cover when you do find someone," he said.
He said he's also tried Dreammates.com but found women seemed to be "selling themselves instead of looking for a date."
Mahana-Beasley said she found the same thing on Lavalife, where she got some "rude comments" up front.
She said her best luck has been on MillionaireMatch.com. Its site says it will assists people with economic success in finding that special someone.
"I've found more educated men and less incidents of idiots," Mahana-Beasley said.
Both Mahana-Beasley and Marcotte said they've been successful in getting dates, but still haven't found that special someone.
"They've (dates) all been delightful," Marcotte said. "For me, it (online dating) is the best way to find a date. I don't do the bar thing. That's not what I'm about."
"It's a new avenue to meeting people," Mahana-Beasley said.
Online dating is similar to face-to-face dating, the way people engage in conversation, Marcotte said. Members search the site for people that look interesting, who share a common interest or background, and then strike up a conversation. After a while they move to phone conversations and then decide to meet, he said.
"I appreciated the opportunities it's given me to meet people," Mahana-Beasley said.
She said she's traveled to places such as California and Minnesota, and had visitors as far away as Italy.
"People ask me if it scares me — no," she said. "It's about being cautious, not paranoid."
There are a few common sense rules that all the dating sites offer to its members about meeting someone they've met online. (Refer to the meeting your online friend in person pullout for more information.)
Mahana-Beasley met one gentleman in Washington D.C. and spent their first date walking around the city.
"You don't want to be distracted to the point you don't communicate," she said. "You want to be in a comfortable situation that is not forcing you to sit there and stare at each other."
She's taken first dates exploring Alcatraz, walking around Mall of America in Minneapolis and even seeing San Francisco in a stretch limo.
"I do some private investigation," she said, before she travels to meet someone, but said she's never met any "baloney" stories. (Refer to the watching for red flags pullout for more information.)
"No matter who you meet or how, you have to be a whole person. You'll seek out the same," she said. "After a while you'll know what to look for and spot it quicker."
Each online dating site has thousands of profiles and Mahana-Beasley said you'll see every characteristic and scenario out there. So, creating a profile to catch others' attention is an important part to online dating. There are several Web sites and even workshops people can take to make the best out of their profile. (More tips available in the creating a profile pullout.)
"Total sincerity," Mahana-Beasley said about creating a profile. "If someone responds to what you're not, your wasting everyones' time."
She said profiles are a way to clarify your passions and personality.
"Like any other relationship, be yourself and be honest," Marcotte said. "Let your feelings out. They can either like it or not like it."
But if you aren't one that wants to spread your feeling to millions all over the world, there are still a few businesses out there that do it the old fashioned way.
The Country Connections' office is located in a small Nebraska community and the owners have been members and officers of many press associations, according to its Web site. In 1989, the owners decided to publish a newsletter containing profiles for country people to met others with similar interests.
About seven years ago, David Seymour of Olathe, came across a Country Connections' ad in a farm journal and decided to subscribe to its newsletter. JoAnn from outside Minneapolis also had the same idea.
Seymour said he enjoyed writing. "I write a nice letter and am good with words."
"'Welcome to My World,' sings Jim Reeves. Fair lady, won't you come on in, tarry a moment in my corner of the world? I am David from Colorado, out west of the Divide," Seymour's profile said.
"My wife (JoAnn) picked up her copy. She immediately liked what she saw," he said.
Seymour said he and JoAnn corresponded for about six months by letters, then through e-mail and eventually phone conversations, before they met in Denver for a Neil Diamond concert in 2000. Seymour and JoAnn have now been married six years and live on his farm in Olathe.
"This is the old fashion way to meet people. If you're still into old fashion, this is a good way to met people," he said. "It's a slower pace way of doing it. It's a nice way. You have to do it (dating) in your own style and the way you like to do things."
By Kati O'Hare
|
