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Finding a potential date can be hard anywhere, but in a smaller town such as Las Cruces, the task is even more difficult. Luckily, Las Cruces is blossoming and more and more places to meet people are popping up. But just because you find a place with many people your age doesn't guarantee you're in the right environment to approach them.
Some of us are too shy to strike up a conversation with someone we find interesting. Others can't seem to find those magic places crammed with singles our age. Or you're looking for someone serious but keep finding people only looking for a hookup. Or vice versa.
There are thousands of different scenarios and even more possible complications. So let's explore the best places to meet other single people, and the steps to take after you spot someone you would like to get to know.
School
The majority of people in your school are going to be in your age group, so this is an ideal place to meet someone of the opposite sex. There's no alcohol involved, people are usually dressed casually, and you can get an idea of how respectful your prospective date is by how they treat teachers and other supervisors. However, it can be hard to approach someone in school — sometimes, you only see that someone special in passing or at the opposite end of the classroom. Extracurricular activities are always a good meeting place. Here's some conversation starters if you spot someone you want to talk to:
If someone across the room strikes your interest, move seats. If you're not permanently assigned to a seat, don't be afraid of change. You're going to have to take chances in a relationship, so why not start as soon as possible?
Ask about a homework assignment or previous class period that you may have missed. If you're struggling in class, ask for help. Or if you know what you're doing and they seem to be behind, offer to catch them up to speed.
Keep the conversation going once it's started. From there, you'll find other, more intimate subjects to talk about the next time you approach your crush.
House party
This is a great place to meet people your age, but not necessarily a place to meet a great date. At a house party, you'll most likely know someone who knows the person you're interested in, which will help you decide beforehand if they are a good or bad catch. Knowing the same person or group of people also helps when trying to start a conversation. Don't be afraid to approach someone if you don't know them. Everyone is into their own conversations, so if you get shut down, no one else will know. If you're stuck on how to strike up a conversation, here's some tips:
When standing or sitting near someone, ask who they know at the party. If they party rocks, make a comment about it. If it blows, make a joke (as long as they're not the one throwing it).
If you're talking with a group of people, and not your prospective date, merge the two by asking the one you have your eye on for their opinion on the topic.
If that attractive someone looks bored, offer to get them a drink. Then suggest a game that multiple people can play that will include you and her/him.
Club
At clubs, you'll meet people outside of your normal social group, but be wary of the intentions of someone you meet there. Some people are just looking for hookups, which may not be your cup of tea. Competitions or activities at clubs make it easier to start up a conversation with the person next to you without seeming desperate. If you still don't know what to do, try:
If someone catches your eye, let them know you've noticed them, even if it's just with a smile. Be confident and offer a compliment as a way to start a conversation. Girls love to be complimented, but not in a crude or cheesy way. "I saw you dancing, you looked good out there," shows interest, but is not overwhelming. Whereas, "Do you play soccer? Cause your body is kickin'," won't win any girl over.
If you're out on the dance floor and see someone who interests you, make eye contact. Move ever so slightly into their dancing vicinity. If they're feeling what you're feeling, it's not hard to begin dancing with each other. If they don't respond when you move into their vicinity, take the hint and move away.
Work
You've probably heard time and time again that office dating is a bad idea. What happens when you're fighting? And if you break up, it's going to be awkward. But every workplace seems to have some desirable prospects, and many people have met their significant other at work. The key to a workplace relationship is for both people to be willing to deal with the consequences if it suddenly ends. If there's someone at work who has caught your eye, and you think want to give it a go (and your company doesn't have policies against it), here are some starting points:
Ask for help. See how the cutie in the next cubicle goes about the same tasks, or solicit assistance with working the copy machine. Once they help you, offer to pay them back by buying them a drink after work, or something similar that shows your gratitude.
If workplace includes project work, try to get in with your crush's group. Once in, there are tons of situations where you can offer your input, find out what the two of you have in common and take it from there.
Congratulate them on a promotion, recognition or idea. Be honest about it and be interested in what they have to say in return. Be careful not too compliment someone without knowing what you're talking about.
Remember
Get out of your comfort zone.
You can never go wrong with a polite compliment
Ask a question. "What is your name?" "What time is it?" "How do you do this?" Once the conversation has started, don't let it stop.
Don't fear rejection, because it happens to the best of us. If it happens to you, move on to the next cutie. If you open your eyes, you'll find there are date-able people everywhere in Las Cruces.
By Melyse Lagerquist
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