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All is fair in love and war. And the battle is no more fever pitched than this time of year. After all, who wants to be dateless in Delco on Valentine's Day?
Seems many "dating experts" have an angle, a program, a secret love potion to attract the opposite sex - all in the name of dinner and a movie on V-Day.
One of the quickest ways to make a love connection is the 60 Second Art of Attraction. Dating expert Sean Newman explains the process.
"You have 60 seconds on the clock. In the first 15 seconds, you have to make the woman feel something. How are you walking? Are you smiling? Are you looking at her? Attitude gets you in the door," says Newman. "You have to make the woman feel something. There is one simple mandate: make her smile."
Newman says when it comes to being a player; looks have nothing over the more intangible. "The main attraction factor is confidence, even irrational self-confidence. Henry Kissinger was quite a ladies man and he never made the cover of GQ."
As for getting a date for Valentines Day: "Go out and meet a girl today. Go to a coffee shop and introduce yourself. Set a date but not Valentine's Day," he says. "Let that day go by. One day is not a big deal. What happens after that day is what really matters."
Local businessman Ben Phillips from Conshohocken has developed a novel way to literally drive dates to your doorstep. His Web site www.flirtingintraffic.com is an Internet connection for interstate dating.
"It's kind of like flirting in reverse. We're all kind of stuck in traffic for one or more hours a day. Maybe you see someone who is cute or desirable. If they have our oval sticker with a search ID number, you can go to our Web site and find out more about the person," says spokesperson and part owner Keith Scandone.
The Web site explains how you can get revved up on love in the fast lane: sign up for free, build your profile, and get your ID number and start flirting. Potential "flirtees" see your assigned ID number, go to the Web site and find photos and a personality sketch. If the road Romeo or vehicular Venus wants to carry it further, they can be connected to the Web site central e-mail system. No individual e-mail addresses are given.
"It's totally anonymous. How much information that is shared is up to the members themselves. We try and make it as safe and fun experience as possible and we've had some success stories."
It seems the Internet is much more than the information highway. It is also an anonymous way to meet virtual people, both nice guys and creeps. Browsers beware.
"Carefully screen the profile, get phone numbers at work and at home and check the person out first to make sure they are who they say they are," says Gail Barsky, an attorney in Media and a freelance singles coach.
Barsky's advice is to meet for lunch first in a public place and keep the meeting relatively short. If there is mutual interest on both sides, then you can set up a more intimate dinner date.
"I think if you take proper precautions, online dating is safer than going into a bar," she says. "Online dating is efficient...now you have a pool of eligible people to choose from."
Google "online dating" and the results are staggering: 114 million in .09 seconds. According to DatingSitesComparisons, the Top 5 online sites are PerfectMatch, Great Expectations, Yahoo Personals, Friends Finder and Records Registry.
Businessman Chet Rowland says finding and attracting a compatible mate is both business and personal. In applying the principles of a successful business model, this Florida marketing specialist has come up with Chet's Dating System, "the most comprehensive dating-success kit for men ever created."
"I've created a step-by-step system on how to attract, convert, leverage and retain any woman of your choosing," says Rowland. "It's a way to position yourself -- your version of being your best - and attract the best type of woman for you."
Part hubris and part Internet marketing, Rowland's formula involves creating a comprehensive personal Web site, complete with your own story, thoughts, ideas, hobbies and ideal woman wish list.
"We create the ultimate profile so women can see you in your best light," Rowland explains. "You don't go to the Academy Awards in shorts, T-shirt and flip-flops. You go in a tuxedo."
Another analogy in compatibility that Rowland makes is the probability of just walking up to someone who shares your interests and perspective on life. "Just going up to a woman in a bar or a mall, the odds are you are approaching the wrong type of woman with nothing in common," he says. "It's like taking a vegetarian out to a steak house."
And if you can't find love on the Internet, look to the stars. To some, the cheesy opening line, "What's your sign?" opens up a world of personal information.
"I just think it's beautiful to ask someone their astrological sign," says astrologist and psychologist Phyllis Mitz. "None of us is 100 percent like our sign but you can get a 50 percent snapshot of the person's personality traits. Why not find out?"
Mitz says astrology will tell us how a person will act in romance, what they want and how to woo them. She gives an example: "To rule an Aries, you have to be very direct, fiery and sexy. With a Gemini, you have to be more witty and intellectual and woo their mind first."
Accordingly, earth signs like Virgo are more practical people where water signs like Pisces, Scorpio and cancer are more emotional. "You have to look deep into their eyes and connect," says Mitz.
One easy way to figure out astrological compatibility is "every other sign in the Zodiac gets along best."
More specifically, Mitz says air and fire signs get along best and water and earth signs are usually compatible. But can love really be found in the skies. "Absolutely," says Mitz. "Much of the time, love is found in the charts. I'm good at predicting love but remember, love comes in lots of forms."
By Joe McAllister, CORRESPONDENT
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