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Love is in the air, or at least through computer servers hooked into cyberspace.
All that's needed is to be online.
Since 2000, the eHarmony Web site has more than 14 million international registered users. According to the online dating service's site at www.eharmony.com, between 10,000 and 15,000 new users register every day.
A 2005 Harris Interactive survey found that more than 90 eHarmony marriages occur on an average day in the United States, said Lou Casale, eHarmony's vice president of corporate communications
Match.com boasts more than 15 million members in 240-plus countries since the Web site began in 1995, according to spokeswoman Amy Canaday.Still asking yourself whether computer dating really works?
Then ask two Colfax-area couples, Sherry and Bob Picciano, and Patty and Steve Hanford, if love can blossom through an ordinary computer and wonder no more. They're living proof that it's lasting.
The Piccianos met in a chat room 10 years ago and the Hanfords met six-and-a-half years ago through an online computer dating service.
Today, they're all happily married, both couples relocating to this area. Bob Picciano even sold his business and house in the Atlanta area to start a new life with his newfound love.
Since Bob Picciano and Patty Hanford are helping present the Colfax Area Chamber of Commerce's inaugural Sweethearts' Ball Wednesday, here are the couples' stories in the spirit of Valentine's Day.
The Piccianos
For Bob Picciano, it was love at first byte.
Meeting his future wife, Sherry, in an aol.com chat room 10 years ago, the newest Colfax Area Chamber of Commerce member was attracted to his correspondent's personality.
"I was head over heels," said Picciano, at the time a Georgia owner of a high tech company, about his wife-to-be, a San Joaquin mother of two going through a divorce.
Although Picciano already had several online friends, they immediately became history as he spent all his free time talking to the young mother who quickly captured his heart.
"Bob wooed me, he was older than me and had been separated a little longer. He's not shy. I was shy. But he took the reins right away and swept me off my feet," Sherry Picciano reminisced. "I didn't go out, I was very active in my church. I was a homebody."
After three months of online and telephone conversations, he flew to San Francisco to see if the couple would click as well in person. Sherry Picciano met him at the airport gate and then their relationship took a more traditional step.
"The first thing I did was take Bob to my parents. I wanted him to pass inspection," she explained.
She shouldn't have worried; the family loved him, according to Sherry Picciano.
It was her mother who had encouraged her to try a chat room, in the first place.
"My mom signed me up and said, 'go.' I had been married for 19 years at 18 with two small kids," Sherry Picciano explained. "I was scared to death, period. But when you're online, it's so easy to talk. I felt a real freedom to talk anonymously."
That first visit to California was followed by weekend visits every three weeks.
"I picked him up at Gate 40. Whenever we were in front of people, they said, 'wow, you're in love,' Sherry Picciano said. "We gave off something; we made a spectacle somehow. Not by touching, just our faces."
That lasted 12 months.
Not because they tired of each other but because the couple didn't want a long-distance relationship anymore; they wanted to get married.
Sherry Picciano, who was just as caught up in the whirlwind romance, planned a surprise wedding during one of the weekend visits.
"In a period of four days, I had to get my Georgia business sold, start packing, accept a job in San Jose and get on a plane back here," he said about what the couple jokingly call their shotgun wedding. "I had no time to think about it."
Now, though, he has had plenty of time to reflect on his decade-long romance.
"Sherry and I been through a lot of stresses, the high-tech downturn in the Bay Area, taking care of my mom now and the lack of privacy," Picciano said. "One thing we'll agree on, despite the stresses, we're still deeply committed to each other. I for one do not regret the first chat and everything that happened."
"It's been an amazing 10 years," Picciano added. "Don't be afraid of the unknown. Attack uncharted ground, grasp the good from it. Enjoy life."
The Hanfords
Patty Hanford's last several years have been influenced by a pioneering effort.
Not by the traditional pioneer families of the Wild West or by the Pilgrims in New England but by online dating.
"Six and a half years ago, there weren't so many computer dating services out there like today," said Hanford, Hanford's Catering Service owner in charge of Wednesday's Sweethearts' Ball gourmet meal. "Match.com was a pioneer in the field."
After hearing couples' testimonials in a Match.com news story almost seven years ago, Hanford decided to sign up for a free trial month.
It was the best dating move she made.
"Boom, within one month, I found my soul mate. We are very compatible, complimentary to each other. We don't have the same abilities but we both have each other's interests," Hanford said.
The then Bay-Area resident wasn't scared or skeptical to go online for a mate.
"I wanted to meet someone. We're not spring chickens," said Hanford, now 58. She was 52 when she met her husband-to-be who's now 57. "The Matchbox staff analyze the parameters of what you want."
Even the first few matches, though not producing any sparks, were fun for Hanford.
"I met several people for coffee. I enjoyed it, even with people I didn't click with," she explained. "It was a way to get out of the circle you're in to the outside world. You can meet a 'scuz' anywhere. I didn't. You never know."
The couple e-mailed and talked on the phone for one month until meeting halfway between their houses (25 miles) at a microbrewery. They married one year later and moved to the foothills a week later.
When not working in electronics at Grass Valley Group, Hanford's husband, Steve, bartends at her catering events.
"In my line of business, where we specialize in weddings, I do many weddings with people who met online and are happy," she added. "The magic of electronically dating, which includes computing the questions and answers of users and involves psychology of couples, is very scientific. You can't balk at it; the sites have grown so much in popularity."
Of course, it ultimately comes down to the flying sparks.
"There's something to chemistry. There are some things you can't explain," Hanford said. "You have to be willing to consider the possibilities."
As for Hanford's husband, who had dated online just once before meeting her, he considers online dating "a great way to meet others.
"You have an idea of what someone is before you meet them. You cut through a lot of crap. I don't want to meet someone through a bar; I'm not a barfly myself. This way, you meet a lot of people, it's an easy decision, you'll know right away if you'll get along. Best part for me, you don't waste a lot of time and a lot of money on dates."
Both Hanfords have encouraged their adult children to try this way of dating.
"I recommend it for anyone who's single. You can pick and choose. There are a lot of fish in the sea and you get to see those fish. It was a lot of fun to communicate with a lot of people," Steve Hanford said.
With that said, his days of communicating with others are luckily over for him.
"I'm extremely happy with Patty. I'm the happiest guy in the world," Steve Hanford noted.
Safety tips before you turn on that computer
Have fun in your dating pursuits, but be safe
Although online dating can be an exciting adventure, it does require some precautions. Since anyone can anonymously post their profiles, without any background checks, many online dating services provide safety tips. The following are eHarmony suggestions.
1. Always Use Your Best Judgment
Don't ignore any facts that seem inconsistent or "off." Trust your instincts - if something doesn't feel right, close communication or, if on a date, leave.
Watch out for someone who asks for money, asks inappropriate questions, wants to speed up the pace beyond your comfort level, tells stories with inconsistencies, gives vague answers to specific questions, urges you to compromise your principles and insists on getting overly close, overly fast
2. Be Cautious Sharing Personal Information
Be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. Once you've given out personal information, you cannot take it back.
3. Do Your Own Research
Regardless of the connection you feel with any of your matches, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense.
4. Make Your First Date Safe and Successful
Choose the time and place of your date wisely. Meet in a public place at a decent hour during which lots of people will be around. Lunch dates work especially well.
Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to "check-in" with them after each of the first few dates.
5. Take Your Time
While online communication can accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy, we can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. Move slowly, learn about and pay attention to the reality of your new relationship, as well as your relationship goals.
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