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On the net I met amazing people I probably would have never met elsewhere. The net offers us endless opportunities as far as age, location, profession and lifestyle. We're all in the same boat .
I first logged on to a dating site in 2001. It was a pretty basic site. Loading my photo was a bit of a challenge though I had no problem with the text.
A couple of days later, my inbox was full. It felt like work; having to answer all of the messages, remember who's who. I even kept a journal of my impressions of the conversations I had.
Recently I spoke to two good friends of mine whom I met online. "Listen," Paz said, "People are embarrassed to sign-up to a dating website, their egos stands in the way."
"Hey," I said, "Thanks to the net, I met you two." I make friends online. Not necessarily on dating sites but, still, online. You know what? I'm not embarrassed to admit it."
"Well, if you are a good looking girl, educated and sane, you should be a role-model for the self-conscious ones," Paz answered.
"I am not sure about the 'sane' part... but, yes, I am positive I inspired some people to give it a try."
Above all, meeting people from different backgrounds and lifestyles can enrich our lives. It's an opportunity to expand our horizons, learn new things and experience different adventures.
Forget romance for a second, I believe the internet should be used to meet new people, make new friends. Having such an attitude takes the edge off the process.
Also, limit your expectations to a single one: Meeting an interesting person. You might not be interested in the guy or the girl romantically but they might still become a great friend. They might even introduce you to the love of your life.
As a life-coach, I work with G., a divorced 39-years old man. He agreed to sign-up to a popular dating site but refused to include his photo. "I'm running for office and it might be a problem," G. explained.
"So?" I asked, "Are you stealing? Are you breaking the law? Are you illegally collecting campaign contributions?"
He laughed. "It's just too embarrassing," he said.
"The embarrassment is all in your head," I answered. "People will perceive what you project. If you feel it's beneath you, they'll interpret it that way. I actually think it's cool. If you talk about it with confidence, speak about it nonchalantly, they'll see it as the most natural thing."
"I don't get it" he answered.
"Look, if a regular guy signs up, does it make him defected in any way?" I asked.
"Of course not" he said.
"Quite the opposite," I continued, "You are human and you want to meet people. As a public figure this will only strengthen your connection to the general public. It sends a message that you are one of them, that you are not afraid of setting the standards."
G. agreed. Now we are working on improving his fear of intimacy. He reports meeting several interesting women but no romance. "Yet..."
By Sharon Rubinstein
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