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I guess you know you've hit it big when impostors like Mrs. Love want to discredit you by twisting your words and using them against you. If any of you read that article that I wrote about long distance relationships, you would surely come to understand that Mrs. Love was quite mistaken on her blatant misinterpretation of my work. But I'm really not here to debate my own work with a poor group of ladies who are attacking your beloved Dr. Love.
I guess you know you've hit it big when impostors like Mrs. Love want to discredit you by twisting your words and using them against you. If any of you read that article that I wrote about long distance relationships, you would surely come to understand that Mrs. Love was quite mistaken on her blatant misinterpretation of my work. But I'm really not here to debate my own work with a poor group of ladies who are attacking your beloved Dr. Love.
I would like to thank Ryan Tyler and Amanda Martin for their very encouraging e-mails and thoughts this week in light of my new Mrs. Love nemesis. Ladies, if y'all don't know who Ryan Tyler is, you need to get up, put the newspaper aside, and go find this man immediately and introduce yourself! He's quite the gentleman. Amanda Martin is great, and has been a faithful follower of the Dr. Love column since its inception. So any of you fellas who are looking for a woman who is intelligent and doesn't play games, go holla at Ms. Martin.
So today I want to talk to guys about how to take a hint. I had an interesting e-mail from a lady about how guys don't know how to take a hint and continue to call her even when she shows signs of disinterest. So I thought I would poll a few other girls on campus and ask if they felt the same about this and surprisingly, eight out of 12 girls on campus responded that guys are not the greatest at knowing when to take the hint. So this is Taking the Hint 101….
I'll give you a personal story. Once upon a time, before I was the Dr. Love you know today, I met a girl and we were having a great conversation for about 20 minutes. As I turned to leave, I asked her if I could have her number. She replied very nicely that she would rather have my number and call me because I probably wouldn't even remember to call her. I said OK and gave her my number. Well a few days, a week, and a couple of weeks went by and she never called.
A month later, I was at a social gathering, and I saw her. I played it cool for a little bit then I went over and casually struck up conversation with her. We were talking for a good while and all was great! I got so caught up in it all that I finally playfully asked her, “So, whatever happened to you calling me?” As soon as I said that, I wanted to give myself a long-awaited butt whooping 'cause I realized how stupid a question that was.
Obviously she wasn't interested. If she had been, she would have called; it's that simple. I wanted to slap myself for even saying a word. Well, she smiled very sweetly and told me that she had actually gone to Europe with her family for a few weeks and had just recently returned. I don't know if that was made up or not, but it was good enough for my ego.
What I'm trying to say through that example is that as guys, we have got to be able to see the subtle hits ladies are trying to throw our way without hurting our feelings. I should have known from the get go the signs to look for. When she was more willing to get my number than give me hers, that should have been clue No. 1, and I should have never asked her why she didn't call me. Do you know how awkward that would have been? She has the right to decide who she wants to call and doesn't. There's no nice way to put that. A girl doesn't have to be nice or make you feel good by calling you.
We need to set up a few ground rules about how to tell when a girl just ain't feelin' you. Before we talk rules, I want you fellas to understand that just because a lady is not into you doesn't mean you aren't good looking or that you are not interesting. There are so many different factors that go into a girl being into you. She could be madly in love with someone else. She could have just gotten out of a horrible relationship and doesn't trust guys right now. She maybe wants to focus on school and isn't interested in guys right now. So don't take it as a horrible thing. Just be gracious and move on. There are many fish in the ocean. So don't be getting all down on yourself… just do your thug thizzle and keep keeping on.
All right, some rules:
1. If you ask her for her number and she says “give me yours instead,” she is probably not that into you.
2. If she doesn't call you after she gets your number, she is probably not that into you. Don't get all cool and ask her why she didn't call. If she wanted to, she would have.
3. If she gives you an excuse about why she can't be with you or get serious, don't try to convince her otherwise. You are not here to beg for love. Goodness, have some dignity, buddy.
4. If she never answers your calls, answers only one out of every 15 phone calls, or never calls you back, please stop calling her. You are running your phone bill up for no reason.
5. If your conversations always have her saying “I'm really busy this week” and it's every week, you've got to run. Run very fast. 'Cause if she liked you, she would make time. So you've got to go, homie.
Now I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, I'm just trying to be real. I think I'm a nice guy, but I've been turned down plenty of times. There isn't an exact science to this. Just take your losses and understand that most of the time it's not a personal thing. Lose graciously and move on while learning every time about what you may have done, good or bad. You can't stick around and beg a girl to love you because that is more of a turn off than anything. It is hurting you more than helping you. Who knows, by showing a girl you can be mature about it, she might like you. And none of that name calling after you get turned down. Don't be rude… life happens
All right, I've got to go. Cupid and I are heading to a relationship advice meeting, so holla atcha boy shamblerecords@yahoo.com. I want everybody to hit me up. Let me know how I'm doing. Don't forget to read Mrs. Love. She is a crack up!
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