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When you love someone and the relationship has to end in any reason that hurt you both, it has to end right at that moment and you have to accept it and let go.

Date: 2007-01-30

When you love someone and the relationship has to end in any reason that hurt you both, it has to end right at that moment and you have to accept it and let go. You don't have to ask questions why it happened; you don't have to look for answers because you will see none. Things could get ugly if you insist looking for it. Don't try to change the course of fate, if it's meant to end then it has to end and let go.

Respect whatever he thinks about you, no need to talk or settle things with him, it only makes you so cheap and get hurt more. Parting ways is painful but you have to take it. Don't try to end it well if there's no future to end it well. Just take the situation as it is and let go. You cannot patch the holes and loopholes that happened to both of you. There will always be grudges, blaming and comparison with each other. It's the way it is; its how letting go is. There could never be a nicer way to do it, but to let go and accept it. If you are a person who wants to end everything in a nice way, this is not the time, only time could tell if all wounds have healed, things will fall in their right places at the right time. As the old adage goes "Time will heal all wounds" as old as it is, it is still true even to this time.

Another thing about ending a relationship, there should be no regrets for what has happened, accept it and try to let go and free your self. No matter what you did even if it brought you pains, there should be no regrets because after all you have loved the person. Be glad if you were given a chance to say it and be able to free your self. Yes, letting go is painful but it gives a sense of freedom, knowing you've said it “no regrets" and you've been true to yourself regardless of what happened and what he feels for you. He may have regrets and hate you but you have to respect that, it is his right.

When it comes to relationships, it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong. Yes, you will go through the process of fighting for your rights because you think you are right but at the end it really doesn't matter. Relationship lasts because it's meant to last, it will end if it's not meant to last and you have to let go.

Don't do stupid things, you cannot win him back. You cannot get his sympathy. If he doesn't feel for you, no matter how hard you try he will not care. Don’t compromise who you really are regardless of the situation and the pain you are into. Sometimes pain can push you to do something which is not within your values, try hard to keep your sanity and learn to let go. Nothing good will come out of it that’s why its’ called stupid. Yes, he hurt you in every possible situation, but it’s not enough reason to trade for who you really are. You have to get a good grip of who you are and your values, because I tell you in this stage you will need every good traits you have if you are dealing with so much pain. If you don’t let go, pains could deceive you and could push you to do things you are not suppose to do. Always think that if you let go and succeed to endure the pains, you will come out a better person and looking back you know you haven’t done anything bad to anybody. That’s why it’s good to end the relationship at once if it needs to end and don’t cling on it, you have to let it go.

When it comes to cheating, try not to blame yourself and learn to let go. You want answers why you've been cheated because you have this insecurity of being replaced, but the truth is, there is no answer. Even in the best of relationships "forever" is rare. When you accept to love someone you have to accept too that you will get hurt. It's not your fault that he cheated you, cheating is a human nature especially with males who cannot take a good grip of their faithfulness when faced with lust. But men with a good grip of their character and values will find themselves shy away from it because their love for someone is greater than their lust and that's what separate boys from men. Boys’ cheats but men don't. You can be 45 but still a boy and you can be 18 but can be called a man. Character and not age makes a man.

In getting hurt, women usually think, they are the ones who are always greatly hurt in most of the relationships they have. I often wonder how men appear so cold and make it looks like everything is easy even with heartaches, but I guess men and women always have different ways of dealing with heartaches. But hurt or pains has nothing to do with gender, its about love, those who love the most, cry the most and get hurt the most. Don’t be sorry that you cry the most or get hurt the most, be glad that that you were able to give most of the love in your relationship. If you love someone accept that you will get hurt too. And when it’s time to let go, just accept it and be glad that you have loved with all your heart.

Lovers to friends - don't put too much effort in it. It rarely happens; it's one in a million. If yours is that one in a million, it will still not happen right away, it needs time. If lovers have a good foundation of friendship before they became lovers and the friendship becomes cloudy because of too much hurt and unusual happenings, after the rain and the clouds are all clear, the sun will shine and if there is really a solid friendship, maybe it could happen-lovers to friends, but don't count on it as I said it rarely happens.

When it’s time to let go, give yourself time to heal, cry if you need to, and grieve if you have to. It’s the process of healing, but don’t stop there, get a life it’s not the end of the world. Yes life is tough, but you have to embrace it, live it because it’s your life. It may not be a beautiful life but you have to own it, it’s yours and you can make it beautiful. Besides, God will not give you things you cannot handle, if He has faith in you that you can handle the life handed to you, you have to have some faith in yourself too that you can get through tough times. Let go, set him free, set your self free and move on. If he is really meant for you, time will tell and your paths will meet again.





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