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Dating is changing. As technology advances, the way we perceive and form romantic relationships evolves.
Most Pepperdine students have a Facebook account. And out of that group, the average student goes on Facebook each day checking messages, writing on walls and uploading pictures. When it comes to forming new relationships, trust is a major issue, and it seems that Facebook is not only becoming an excuse to delay finishing homework, but also an excuse for anonymously investigating a crush.
“Once I was talking to this girl, and it all started out as an innocent poke war, but it then escalated to her consistently messaging me,” freshman JP MacDonnel said. “She went from contacting me on Facebook to Myspace to my e-mail. That’s when I knew she was a stalker.”
Some will deny that casually checking a crush’s Facebook for new picture uploads and wall posts qualifies as stalking, arguing that the social network is simply a way to meet others by seeing what they like to do in their spare time and what kinds of things they are into. But by definition to stalk is to follow or observe a person persistently.
So are Facebook users really just a bunch of stalkers?
“I look at girls’ profiles regularly to see if they are single,” sophomore James Wolf said. Another vouched for the fact that on occasion, he and his buddies get together to look at pictures of girls they find attractive.
Although some readers might think this behavior is creepy, anyone who owns a Facebook account can admit that he or she has “persistently observed” another person’s profile. Whether it be viewing photo albums multiple times or keeping track of friends’ mutual friends, as long as it is persistent, it can be considered stalking.
But on another non-stalker level, Facebook crushing has its ups, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
“I love Facebook, because if I’m interested in a girl, I can see what she is about and decide whether or not I want to pursue her,” said sophomore Robert Dickmann.
By viewing a crush’s profile and pictures, a crushee can determine: How often his or her romantic interest parties or participates in extra-curricular activities; if the person is in a relationship or was previously in one (by status, wall posts, pictures); if the person shares the same political and religious values, or even if the person is interested in a relationship in the first place.
So in a way, Facebook can serve as a great “dating” tool, but can also signal insecurity, especially in exclusive relationships. I have known multiple girls who have found out boyfriends’ Facebook passwords, checked messages and uncovered dirty secrets, such as that their guys were electronically cheating on them (telling other girls they were single). The relationships either ended or the Facebook accounts were deleted.
As social network technology advances and the level of personal internet privacy decreases, Facebook stalking will continue, and the way we date and enter into relationships will continue to be influenced by blogs, photo albums, profiles, and wall posts.
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