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Vernell Fields has always led an exciting life. Fields, 53, embarked on a college career at East Texas State University, now Texas A&M University Commerce, to pursue a career in criminal justice in the late '70s - a time when women were just beginning to prove their professional worth in the workforce.
Fields said she never got the chance to make her law enforcement career a reality, but her professional life as a clinic manager for East Baton Rouge Tuberculosis Unit and a customer service associate at Dillard's has fulfilled her life over the years.
The Texas native packed her bags long ago to leave home and has lived everywhere from Maryland to Florida. She has visited Nigeria and has plans to vacation in China this summer.
But Fields has made this journey alone.
Fields is among the 51 percent of American women who reported living without a spouse in 2005. According to a New York Times analysis of Census Bureau data, the combination of widows, single, separated and divorced women has reached its peak, rising from the 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
Although Fields said she is far along in her life, entering a life of holy matrimony is far down on her list of things to do.
Not lonely... Just Single
Fields said she once had a desire to get married in her 30s when she could have children, but she never found anyone she deemed worth spending the rest of her life with.
"When I wanted to get married, men were coming back from the Vietnam War, and the quality and availability of men was not appealing," Fields said. "When [men] came back a lot of them had mental problems or went to prison. They just were not themselves."
Fields said her age has forfeited her chance to have children who could possibly care for her when she gets elderly, but she stands firm in her choice not to have children outside marriage.
"I was not going to have a child and raise it by myself," Fields said. "I did not want to be selfish by fulfilling my needs to have a child and not look at the child's needs."
Fields said she sometimes feels lonely, but being single gives her a sense of freedom that she would not otherwise have.
"I have a stress-free life because I got the chance to do whatever I wanted to do ... whenever I wanted to do it," Fields said. "I have had the chance to travel, and I did not have to worry about consulting with anyone or worrying about a family when I got ready to do something."
Karen Gail Lewis, marriage and family therapist and author of the self-help novel "With or Without a Man: Single Women Taking Control of Their Lives," said she has seen more of a social acceptance of women staying single during her 36 years as a therapist.
"There is not a financial need that women get married. There is no longer a social need. And there is much more pressure for women to have careers now," Lewis said. "When a woman has a career, she may not get married until 35. But she may have been in a committed relationship for 10 years. Society says it is OK until a woman gets to a child-bearing age. That is when the pressure comes in. "
Percentages for widows and divorced women increase as women get older according to 2005 Census Bureau data. Eighteen percent of women between the ages of 45 and 54 are divorced compared to 5 percent of women between the ages of 20 and 34.
Lewis said the percentages of divorced women and widows are higher for women after their 40s because many women do not remarry.
"There is some indication that older widows and divorced women don't get remarried the way they use to," Lewis said. "One reason many older women don't get married again is because they have been through marriage and don't want to start over with a new man and relationship that may not be good."
The New York Times reported that 53 percent of American men are married and living with their spouses compared to the 49 percent of women who are doing the same.
"Women live longer than men," Lewis said in regards to the women's lower percentage of living with a spouse. "And these numbers for women living without spouses may be even higher because the census does not count the 80-or 100-year-oldwomen living without a spouse."
Future Generations
Women between the ages of 20 and 34 rank the highest at 47 percent among other age groups of women who have never been married according to the 2005 Census Bureau. These are the ages that most women are in college or in the primes of their lives and careers.
Lewis saidthat even though younger women are not making commitments to marriage as early as they have in the past, they are not necessarily living completely alone.
"Societal support of women having a career has increased," Lewis said. "For all the women who have careers in their 20s, many of them are still dating. Even though they have a career, they still want a man in their life."
Lanell Charles, kinesiology freshman, said she is an advocate of waiting on marriage to fulfill her career plans.
"Me and my boyfriend have this conversation all the time. I hope to have my career and everything started before I get married and have children or anything like that," Charles said. "[My boyfriend] says no ... it should not be like that. But that is my opinion, and I am standing firm with that."
Abbey Wade, psychology junior, said she believes in giving marriage a second chance even if her first one is not successful.
"My mom has been remarried. She got divorced when I was younger," Wade said. "I just wouldn't give up on having a marriage if I got divorced because sometimes things don't work out. Your next marriage might be perfectly fine."
Wade said she would continue to seek companionship and commitment if she were not married by the time she was ready and would find ways to cope without a spouse.
"After a certain period I think I would really just want to be married," Wade said. "You know when I get to the age of 40, I just wouldn't still want to be alone. I wouldn't sit and dwell on it. I would just probably go and be a cool older lady traveling the world."
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