More and more college students are getting married, but many of these marriages end in heartbreak.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 30 percent of marriages that begin when the couple is between the ages of 20 and 24 end within ten years. Interaction between the spouses after the wedding day could lead to bliss or to stress.
Kyana Jackson, a psychology trainee at the counseling and wellness center at Wright State, said the biggest problem in a marriage is miscommunication. This is a problem for couples no matter what age or stage in life.
Jackson said, "We live in an individualistic society, and people are not always good at working with other people. Marital relationships force people into critical thinking."
She also said, "People and goals change. Not that relationships can't work, but they need communication. If one person wants to change, the other person must be involved."
On getting married in college, Tim Purvis, a sophomore in international studies, said, "I don't have a problem with it myself. Marriage and college are like other aspects of our lives, it just depends on how we choose to incorporate it in our life." Jackson advises students not to marry only because they have a child.
She said, "Usually when people get married before they graduate it is because they have a kid, and it can be a stressful situation for the child. If the parents get married for the wrong reason, it can be bad for everyone. However, both parents can still live together, or have a non-romantic relationship, and the child can still feel loved."
She also advises couples to be open to change and not to hold high expectations. She said, "We often go into relationships with expectations, and we end up disappointed. Instead of waiting for the other person to meet our expectations, we'll be surprised every time our partner does something nice."
Zac Hayes, a junior in international studies and political science, does not seem to have high expectations for marriage. He said, "I will only sign a marriage contract with an option for renewal."
Although weddings usually seem to be a product of long-term dating, arranged marriages are practiced in some cultures.
On arranged marriages, Amit Dhaka, a junior in international economic affairs and Spanish, said, "I personally think many people are miserable in their marriages because they had an arranged marriage and didn't get to pick out their love. Many people in the cities [of India] are rejecting it, but the suburban culture still clings to it due to a very strong and traditional history. As for marriage during college, I believe college is a time to learn, not to raise a family."
For students more optimistic about the prospects of marriage, counselors can offer advice.
Jackson tells couples to "commit, whatever it takes. Because of the option for divorce, we're committed until they do something wrong… it is a process, and we must see that the other person is dedicated to our goals."
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