Chanceforlove.com
   Hot Russian brides photographs

Essentials archive:
Resources archive:
Articles archive:
Facts on Russia:


Cupid weaves a tangled Web

Date: 2007-01-22

It's not official until it's on MySpace. Or Facebook. Or both. The days of announcing a new relationship by wearing a crush's class ring or letterman's jacket have evolved. Now it's all about the relationship status on social networking sites.

Some people now list themselves as "married" on their profiles when a relationship gets serious and "divorced" when the breakup is painful. And finding that your crush has changed his or her status on MySpace or Facebook to "single" is the dreaded, fatal sign.

This new-found PDA — public declaration of attachment — has taken over the dating world, and that one small part of a MySpace or Facebook profile can make or break a relationship.

"People's identities are being created through their MySpace accounts," says Michael Smalley, founder and director of the Smalley Marriage and Family Center in The Woodlands, Texas.

"We can now meet and get married online, and MySpace is the most popular way to do that," he said.

Smalley says that before the Internet, a new relationship between two people wasn't official until they held hands or kissed, but networking Web sites such as MySpace and Facebook have changed the rules.

Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington, says it's a strong statement to say you're in a relationship.

"A lot of people see each other but don't call it a relationship," she says.



  • Allison Carr of Spokane, Wash., is someone who manages her relationship status online.

    Carr, 22, has accounts on both MySpace and Facebook, but her status on each is different.

    She's just "in a relationship" on MySpace but "engaged" on Facebook.

    "My Facebook status was an affirmation that we really like each other," Carr says.

    For the record, Carr is not really engaged to be married in the traditional sense.

    She feels that people like her probably exaggerate their status because it's a more meaningful way to express the level of commitment.

    Kelli Blreen of Sacramento, Calif., remembers what it was like changing her status when she had a boyfriend.

    "I was excited and wanted to tell my friends about it," says Blreen, 19. "Something was different, and I wanted my friends to ask me what it was."

    She listed herself as "married," not because she wanted to walk down the aisle but because she felt it sounded more serious and wanted her love for her boyfriend to stand out.

    So what happened when the two broke up?

    Blreen changed her status to "divorced" and is still listed that way. She says her breakup isn't the only reason she's using the harsh term.

    "It was the only way to tell people you're single and not looking."

    Carr said she agreed and mentioned that just because someone is "single" doesn't mean they are looking for love and that the "divorced" option is the only way to let strangers know that someone is just getting out of a relationship.

    People inaccurately use the "divorce" option because it has lost shock value over the years, Schwartz thinks.

    "There's no stigma with using that word," Schwartz says. "Divorce would have been a bad word not so long ago."

    Smalley thinks that since divorce has become such a common occurrence, people assume the term best describes their breakup.

    "Our society and culture is being convinced that divorce is the solution to a bad relationship," Smalley says.


  • So what happens when someone is dating but things aren't official yet?

    Meet Justin Harris.

    "Single," "in a relationship" and "divorced" are three choices that do not apply to him.

    The California State University, Sacramento, student has accounts on MySpace and Facebook but wants people to know his current situation.

    On Facebook, he has listed his status as "it's complicated," and over on MySpace, which doesn't include that option, he's a "swinger."

    "I have been in some sort of relationship for the past three years," he says. "It's been with different girls, one after another, and right now I'm taking a break."

    Harris, 22, admits he is seeing more than one woman at the moment but wants to make it clear he's not leading them on.

    "I like all three, but I'm not really interested in one enough."


  • Even though Harris may be in a sticky situation, he's among millions who are forced to declare their status on MySpace, which may explain why the "marital" status has become so important on a profile.

    For new users who sign up on MySpace, three "details" are automatically posted when their new account is created: marital status (which defaults to "single"), astrological sign and the option "I don't want kids."

    After updating a profile, a user can eliminate most physical and personal details, except for marital status and zodiac sign. In order to do that, special coding is needed, which can be found by typing "hide MySpace details" in a search engine such as Google.

    Over on Facebook, things aren't as complicated.

    The site prides itself on user privacy, and a simple click can hide your relationship status or specify who you're in a relationship with.

    So why doesn't Harris just hide his status on his Facebook profile?

    "Basically, to keep more people away," Harris says.


  • Hidden or not, this public display of attachment is a big deal. Many feel a need to make their status known despite the availability of ways to hide it on their MySpace or Facebook profile.

    Psychotherapist and author Beatty Cohan credits celebrities and pop culture for influencing people to publicly declare their private lives.

    "These celebrities are the role models for a lot of people," she says. "There is some kind of incentive. Since they're rich and famous, maybe we can do it too."

    Cohan also thinks it is important to declare relationship status online because honesty is key to a healthy relationship, not only in person but also on the Internet.

    "If somebody is dating somebody and is remotely serious, then it would be important for the person to change their status," Cohan says.

    "Otherwise they're saying that they're free and wanting to meet other people."

    With networking Web sites becoming so mainstream, will items like the letter jacket or class ring ever regain symbolic value when offered to the object of a crush? Smalley thinks not. "We've accepted this medium of the Internet," he says, "as a way of communicating."




  • Your First Name
    Your Email Address

         Privacy Guaranteed



    GL52081962 GL52074692 GL52081914 GL52068236


      

          SCANNED March 29, 2024





    Dating industry related news
    Program Teaches Adolescents Safe DatingNeglected Japanese Descendants Sought Via PollOn-line matchmakers look to hook up home buyers
    Domestic violence and sexual abuse permeates our society and local educators say changing that begins with our children. But are 10-year-old middle school students mature enough to understand adult issues like sex and dating relationships?There is a program at Allen Jay Middle School in Archdale that addresses the issue.Educators take an inward approach and teach sexual responsibility by building self-esteem.According to Jean Workman, Guilford County Department of Public Health, "We estimate abo...The Philippine government and Japan have no record of the number of neglected Japanese descendants in the country – many of them are in Davao — because their birth certificates show their citizenship as Filipino. Worse, some Japanese fathers refuse to recognize these children as from their blood despite the Filipino mother declaring otherwise. By Patricia Marceloofwjournalism.net QUEZON CITY – Some rely on just their surnames to carry them to Japan and, hopefully, a better life. A group h..."Impecunious house-hunter, honest, flexible, employed, seeks same. Must be willing to commit." Canadians who want to get their foot on the increasingly steep real estate ladder are about to be offered an on-line matchmaking service that has been a runaway success in Britain and Australia. Co-buywithme.co.uk, launched just four months ago from a basement in London, already has 500 customers registered in Britain. The startup of the Australian service grabbed 200 clients in its first two weeks. ...
    read more >>read more >>read more >>
    ChanceForLove Online Russian Dating Network Copyright © 2003 - 2023 , all rights reserved.
    No part of this site may be reproduced or copied without written permission from ChanceForLove.com