It's not official until it's on MySpace. Or Facebook. Or both.
The days of announcing a new relationship by wearing a crush's class ring or letterman's jacket are long gone. Now it's all about the relationship status on social-networking sites.
Some people now list themselves as "married" on their profiles when a relationship gets serious and "divorced" when the breakup is painful. And finding that your boyfriend or girlfriend has changed his or her status on MySpace or Facebook to "single" is the dreaded, fatal sign.
This new-found PDA - public declaration of attachment - has taken over the dating world, and that one small part of a MySpace or Facebook profile can make or break a relationship.
"People's identities are being created through their MySpace accounts," says Michael Smalley, the founder and director of the Smalley Marriage and Family Center in The Woodlands, Texas.
"We can now meet and get married online, and MySpace is the most popular way to do that," he said.
Smalley says that before the Internet, a new relationship between two people wasn't official until they held hands or kissed, but networking Web sites such as MySpace and Facebook have changed the rules.
Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington, says it's a strong statement to say that you're in a relationship.
"A lot of people see each other but don't call it a relationship," she says.
Allison Carr of Spokane, Wash., is someone who manages her relationship status online.
Carr, 22, has accounts on both MySpace and Facebook, but her status on each is different.
She's just "in a relationship" on MySpace but "engaged" on Facebook.
"My Facebook status was an affirmation that we really like each other," Carr says.
For the record, Carr is not really engaged to be married in the traditional sense.
She feels that people like her probably exaggerate their status because it's a more meaningful way to express the level of commitment.
Kelli Blreen of Sacramento remembers what it was like changing her status when she had a boyfriend.
"I was excited and wanted to tell my friends about it," says Blreen, 19. "Something was different, and I wanted my friends to ask me what it was."
She listed herself as "married," not because she wanted to walk down the aisle but because she felt it sounded more serious and wanted her love for her boyfriend to stand out.
So what happened when the two broke up?
Blreen changed her status to "divorced" and is still listed that way. She says her breakup isn't the only reason she's using the harsh term. "It was the only way to tell people you're single and not looking."
Carr said she agreed and mentioned that just because someone is "single" doesn't mean that they are looking for love and that the "divorced" option is the only way to let strangers know that someone is just getting out of a relationship.
People inaccurately use the "divorce" option because it has lost shock value over the years, Schwartz thinks. "There's no stigma with using that word," Schwartz says. "Divorce would have been a bad word not so long ago."
Smalley thinks that since divorce has become such a common occurrence people assume that it best describes their breakup.
"Our society and culture is being convinced that divorce is the solution to a bad relationship," Smalley says.
So what happens when someone is dating but things aren't official yet?
Meet Justin Harris.
"Single," "in a relationship" and "divorced" are three choices that do not apply to him.
Harris, a student at California State University at Sacramento, has accounts on MySpace and Facebook but wants people to know his current situation.
On Facebook, he has listed his status as "it's complicated," and over on MySpace, which doesn't include that option, he's a "swinger."
"I have been in some sort of relationship for the past three years," he says. "It's been with different girls, one after another, and right now I'm taking a break."
Harris, 22, admits that he is seeing more than one woman at the moment but wants to make it clear that he's not leading them on.
"I like all three, but I'm not really interested in one enough."
Even though Harris may be in a sticky situation, he's among millions who are forced to declare their status on MySpace, which may explain why the "marital" status has become so important on a profile.
For new users who sign up on MySpace, three "details" are automatically posted when their new account is created - marital status (which defaults to "single"), astrological sign and the option "I don't want kids."
After updating a profile, a user can eliminate most physical and personal details, except for marital status and zodiac sign. In order to do that, special coding is needed, which can be found by typing "hide MySpace details" in a search engine such as Google.
Over on Facebook, things aren't as complicated. The site prides itself on user privacy and a simple click can hide your relationship status or specify who you're in a relationship with.
So why doesn't Harris just hide his status on his Facebook profile?
"Basically, to keep more people away," Harris says.
Hidden or not, this public display of attachment is a big deal. Many feel a need to make their status known despite the availability of ways to hide it on their MySpace or Facebook profile.
Beatty Cohan, a psychotherapist and author, credits celebrities and pop culture for influencing people to publicly declare their private lives.
"These celebrities are the role models for a lot of people," she says. "There is some kind of incentive. Since they're rich and famous, maybe we can do it too."
Cohan also thinks that it is important to declare relationship status online because honesty is key to a healthy relationship, not only in person but also on the Internet.
"If somebody is dating somebody and is remotely serious, then it would be important for the person to change their status," Cohan says.
"Otherwise they're saying that they're free and wanting to meet other people."
With networking Web sites becoming so mainstream, will the letter jacket or class ring ever regain symbolic value when offered to a crush? Smalley thinks not.
"We've accepted this medium of the Internet," he says, "as a way of communicating."