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OK, I admit it. I have taken the plunge into the world of Internet dating. Being a mom, working full-time and moonlighting as a doctoral student, it is quite obvious that my options are limited.
My online adventure began several years ago when a friend suggested I give it a try. I had been divorced for almost five years, so maybe it was time. To my friend's delight, I began the task of preparing "The Profile."
This part consisted of writing about myself and what I was looking for. Sounds easy, right? Easy if you happen to know what it is you're looking for. In my case, I had no idea. Furthermore, I hadn't totally convinced myself that I even wanted to be looking.
Peeking at other profiles for ideas provided no help. It seemed that everyone was just as "comfortable in jeans and a ball cap" as they were dressing "formally for a night at the Meyerson." Yeah, right. Who were they kidding? I decided to concoct a pretty generic summary and move along.
Now all I needed was a headline – something catchy that would stick out from all the rest. Looking again at the other profiles had me seriously thinking that maybe this wasn't for me. Every headline sounded pretty much the same – corny! Phrases such as "Two to Tango," "Wonder Woman seeks Superman," "Tired of Kissing Frogs" and even "Sleepless in Dallas" (puhleeez!) jumped at me from the monitor. They had to be kidding! I decided to rely on the words of the infamous Phoebe Buffet of Friends and ended up posting the headline of, "Looking for My Lobster ..." I know, save your breath; it's just as corny as the rest!
With all the "prep work" completed, I was ready to go lobster fishing! I received numerous "bites" and meticulously began laying my traps. I was answering e-mails, taking phone calls (from the ones I deemed worthy of giving my number) and planning dates – all from potential "lobsters." It was here that I encountered the first glitch in my quest.
E-mail? Safe enough. Talking on the phone? Not too scary. Actually meeting? Forget it. I must have generated 1,001 excuses as to why I could (or, should I say, would) never meet someone in person. And, to make matters worse, I had no idea why. Could it be that it had been more than a decade since I had done the dating thing? Possibly. Was it the stigma that accompanies the idea of meeting someone online? Perhaps. Or maybe I had just watched one too many Lifetime movies. Who knows – but it didn't look like this was my path to trapping a lobster. So I did what any good fisherwoman knows to do – I pulled in my traps and headed to shore.
My hiatus, however, was short-lived. With some coaxing from my friends, I decided to set my traps again after only a few months. Being cautious to assure that I did not become the subject of a future Lifetime movie, I went on my first date. All I can say is ... wow! Great food, great conversation, great guy. Everything that had thwarted me on my first go-round didn't seem to matter this time. I had done it – and it was fun! So fun that I did it again ... and again ... and ... you get the picture. I had found my lobster.
That was two years ago. So what has become of my lobster? Well, it is common knowledge that you must be extremely careful when handling lobsters, or you'll get pinched. And while there have definitely been some "pinches" over the last two years, my lobster and I remain close, and my guess is that we will for a long time to come.
So even with all the stigma that surrounds it, the Internet turned out to be a great way for me to meet someone. In fact, I know several people who met (and married) their lobsters through an online dating service. And if you think about it, it really isn't any different than meeting someone through a more traditional route – over drinks, through friends or at a party. My advice? Give it a try. You just might be surprised.
Kelly Walls of Lewisville is an assistant elementary school principal and a Community Voices volunteer columnist. Her e-mail address is kellylwalls@ yahoo.com.
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