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1. Visualize and "act as if" each person you meet really "gets you" - in other words, really understands you.
2. Make a decision to make each person you meet feel really comfortable. This will alleviate any nervousness you’re feeling. Think of yourself as a gracious, charming host/hostess wherever you are.
3. For the next 30 days concentrate on really liking the opposite sex - thinking of each one as a safe ally.
4. Become your own best cheerleader and your own best friend - this will aid you towards "flourishing" in a relationship, not "needing" a relationship.
5. Always speak well of your family and friends-conversely avoid a partner who speaks poorly of their friends and family.
6. The most exciting person to be around is the person who is excited about their life-be positive and optimistic about your life.
7. Look for commonalities, not differences-if we all knew what our "type" was, we wouldn’t be alone. Look for similarities, enjoy contrasts and be more open-minded.
8. Never give up all your friends and outside interests for your partner. It’s important to keep the multidimensional features that made you attractive initially.
9. Treat your partner with kindness and respect. Never take each other for granted - be best friends.
10. Develop and demonstrate a real interest and support for your partner’s career, friends & family.
11. Your partner need not know everything about you . Keep a little mystique.
12. Get in the habit of always putting your partner in the very best light- give them the benefit of the doubt and concentrate on what works, not on what doesn’t work.
13. Minimize arguments and confrontations by avoiding the blaming word "you", as in "you made me late for work." Rather, use "building bridges" words as in "let’s figure out a new way to mange our morning schedules." Think and act as a team.
14. Avoid treating your partner like a child, no one wants another mother. They are not your project!
15. Laugh. Together. A lot.
By Julie Paiva
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