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My New Year's Resolution is to not eat any chutney this year.
Since I probably haven't eaten chutney once in the last ten years, I figure I'm destined for success. Yes – it feels great to be a winner.
As you can probably tell – I'm not one to make big-time resolutions every New Year. I used to… but the idea of annual failure started getting me down.
But, in the spirit of the season and in the spirit of this particular forum, there are a few small things that I'll be trying to work on in my dating life. Let's not call them resolutions because if they don't pan out, I won't have to feel bad.
So, without further ado, allow me to present ten things on my dating to-do list. (This way, if I don't do them they just stay on the list for next year).
1. Stop expecting women to live up to the image of my perfect match
In my 33 years on this planet, I've only ever met one woman who pretty much mirrored what I had envisioned as my perfect match. Unfortunately, I didn't live up to what she had envisioned and we never even went out on a first date.
Being realistic does not mean you are settling. Someone who doesn't fit your ideal criteria may surprise you.
2. Go to social gatherings without an agenda
All this really means is take the pressure off. Go out in order to have a good time with friends. DO NOT go out with the expectation of meeting someone, falling in love, and getting married. People always say that you'll meet someone when you least expect it. Why do they say this? I don't know… but they're right.
3. Take advantage of all my options
What does this mean? It means do the following: online dating, singles mixers, speed dating, blind dates, set-ups. Whatever is out there. BUT… keep in mind number two – have fun!
4. Be myself on the first date
This one is harder than you think… especially when you're me.
I think we tend to try and sell ourselves too much when we don't really know someone. If you've met online, it can be hard to live up to the amazing profile you paid a professional profile writer to create.
But here's the deal: you're going to have to start being yourself sooner or later, so you might as well start at the beginning. You'll find that you'll be less nervous if you don't have to try and be someone you're not.
And remember - 'you're good enough, you're smart enough, and goshdarnit, people like you.'
5. Do something different
I think all my first dates last year consisted of going out for drinks. I'm not doing that anymore. I mean, there might be some drinking involved, but I want to mix it up and do an activity that will help me get to know my date rather than just sitting down at a table and forcing conversation.
6. Initiate
How can one word be so frightening to me? This year, I'm going to try and kick the shy-boy habit and simply introduce myself to someone I find attractive. Just say hello, that's all… baby steps.
7. Stop thinking that I've missed the boat
A good buddy of mine got married last year. He's 43 and had thought that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. However, fate had other plans and he's now probably the happiest man I know.
8. Don't send e-mails when I am sleep-deprived and/or drunk
I don't think I really need to write an explanation about this particular resolution. Let's just say I wish there was an "UNsend" button on Outlook Express.
9. Stop watching romantic comedies when they're on TV
Does anyone else find these things depressing? That goes double if they star Hugh Grant.
These movies are a disservice to single people everywhere. They present an unrealistic sense of what can be achieved by looking mopey, stuttering, and trying to be charming. Am I taking them too seriously? Yes… yes I am. But I really don't think I'm the only person who gets pissed off when everything ends happily ever after in these movies.
10. Listen to my stomach
I'm not talking about eating when I'm hungry or staying away from overly spicy food. I mean I need to be more honest with myself and trust my instincts. When something feels wrong, stop doing it – no matter how much your head says to continue. And if it feels right, go for it. You'll never regret doing the right thing.
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