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Her skirt's laid out, her tank top's ready, and her heels are set to dance-- Laura Zimmerman, a 25-year-old resident is ready to party like it's 2007. But guess what -- she doesn't have a date.
That doesn't mean Zimmerman won't be having fun on New Year's Eve. She's single and loving it.
"I actually have plans with a group of people from my church, who are all in similar life situations. We are having a big party with around 160 people," said Zimmerman, who's a sixth-grade teacher at Horizon Elementary School in Hanover Park. "We're renting a banquet room at the Indigo Hotel in Palatine and each person is paying $35 to cover the catered dinner and the DJ. And we're all dressing up -- it should be a lot of fun."
Zimmerman says she'd rather hang with friends than date just anybody.
"I don't want to just find anyone who's single and my age I want to find someone who has the same values and same standards as me," she says. "I can meet any dork who's in their mid-20s. But going to a bar is not where I'm going to find the love of my life. I'm very content with where I am, and I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I don't want to have a marriage that's messed up just so I can say I'm married. I want the right thing, so I'm just going to have to wait."
And local therapy experts agreed that being single's not such a bad idea.
"It's not necessarily unhealthy to not be in a relationship. ally might be better to be in no relationship," said Bonnie Mansfield, a local therapist. "Just think about the bad relationships out there where there's poor communication or lack of trust in a relationship. Things that come under that umbrella are -- not spending time with your partner or your partner seems to be occupied with other interests -- a job, a real serious friendship, an affair.
"And no relationship means you could be in a really good relationship with someone soon rather than be with someone you feel stuck with," Mansfield said.
So if you're single go out and don't just sit around -- the New Year's Eve celebrations are not all they're cracked up to be, added Mansfield.
"On TV, you see people celebrating and watching fireworks together. But, the majority of people in actuality are watching it at home with a few friends or at a local bar," said Mansfield. "If you're single -- go to a bar or party by yourself or go there with a bunch of friends if your social circle's like that. If you're the loner type of person you might not even be that sad. Just watch a celebration on TV, buy some shrimp and get a little bottle of champagne or some beer to toast the new year."
Singles' options abound
There are plenty of options around the area, which would get any local single pumped to celebrate.
Try The Mission, at 209 E. Chicago, in Elgin where you can get your groove on from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. to popular music for a mere $20, or stop by today and pick up a ticket for half-price.
If the Bears playing the Packers, jazz music and comedy are more of your thing, check out Walter Payton's Roundhouse, at 205 N. Broadway, Aurora, where you can watch the Bears game on a projection screen at 7 p.m. And later on, eat dinner while listening to some soothing jazz from Nadine Baxter and enjoy some laughs with comedian Tom Clark for $75 until midnight.
And if neither of these ideas sound enticing, try Blu Razz, 558 Randall Road, South Elgin, from 8 p.m. to 4 a.m., where you can dance the night away while purchasing a dinner and drink package for $100 or just a drinks package for $40.
Media, family and loneliness
Even though there are plenty of partying opportunities for single people, the commercialization of the holidays can make singles feel lonely, says one local counselor.
"The media sets these expectations of this being a family time, a time for couples -- it's like Valentine's Day all over again," said Deb McEllin, a counselor at the Lutheran Social Services in Elgin. "And if you don't have someone, it magnifies it even more and makes people feel worse about themselves or unhappy to be alone."
Zimmerman agrees that the media nearly force people to be in relationships.
"I just feel like media's telling us to be in these relationships," said Zimmerman. "People are pretending to be in meaningful relationships because that's what the world's telling us to do."
But she says, it's not just the media -- it's the constant nagging that can make you feel like an outcast.
"Grandma's asking you why aren't you in a relationship? Why aren't you dating anyone? And that's when it gets really personal. You're like, 'Because I'm a huge loser' or 'I'm ugly.' Even if those thing aren't true, that's what's going through your head," said Zimmerman. "That's a question that should just be banned from society -- there's no good answer for it."
But Zimmerman has to remind herself of her family's good intentions.
"My family and friends just want me to be happy. They see that they're happy in their relationships and that's why they're urging me toward that," she said. "I have to remind myself that when I'm annoyed with them, they bring the pressure out of love."
Other priorities
Even so, Zimmerman says her generation's focus is not on meaningful relationships but on job status and self.
"My generation's career-oriented. On top of that, we've learned the importance of being independent. We've learned from our parents that just in case you wind up in a bad relationship, make sure you can make it on your own," said Zimmerman. "But this independence lends itself to living in an isolated life where we don't realize we need other people."
Despite Zimmerman's opinion that young singles are on the George Clooney track, Mansfield said the dating scene merely has changed.
"There's just new ways for people to meet," Mansfield said. "More than going to bars, people are going online like Match.com. You can e-mail and talk on the phone before you meet someone, and if you feel comfortable enough, you can meet up with them and get to know them."
But Zimmerman says she's sticking to the old-fashioned way of meeting people.
"I've heard a lot of people are doing dating sites. But it's too creepy to actually sign up for it. I think that's a point of desperation that I'm not quite at yet," said Zimmerman. "I'd like to have a meaningful friendship that may turn into a relationship."
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