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AS we stared dreamily into each others' eyes, pieces of plaster rained down into our starters...
Not many first dates take place on a building site. But then not many men are as stubborn as the young chap who once took Susan Morrison out for a less-than-romantic experience.
The comedienne and Talk 107 presenter may have a legendary sense of humour - but eating prawn cocktail dotted with plaster was too much even for her.
Recalling the rubbled remains of her brief encounter, Susan, now a married 40-something, says: "I was about 18, and he must have been 18 and a half, but I thought he was a man of the world. I was a student at Stirling University. He decided to take me out for dinner so we arrived at a restaurant in Bridge of Allan.
"He announced loudly that he had a booking but the staff said he didn't. He insisted, I think he was trying to be macho, and eventually they smirked and showed us through to the dining room - which was being renovated.
"They sat us at a table and asked if we'd like it candlelit, to which he said yes because he was still trying to be macho, so a workman with a blowtorch came over to light it.
"We sat there while plaster fell into our prawn cocktails, drinking the Asti spumante that he thought was a very fine wine to order, trying to have an intimate conversation while workmen drilled and sawed around us. Needless to say I never saw him again!"
She is far from alone in having a bad date story. Everyone can think of an experience where Mr (or Miss) Right turns out to be Mr (or Miss) Never in a Million Years. Or when that one pre-date drink to calm nerves results in you falling flat on your face, literally.
A new book by author Sam Jordison recounts some of the worst dates ever, including one couple in Manchester held at gunpoint in their taxi.
But the robbers didn't steal their chance at romance and the pair ended up getting married.
Back in Edinburgh, there are plenty of excruciating tales of dating disasters.
For Lothians MSP Margo Macdonald, hers offered a valuable lesson about not judging books by their covers.
"I was in my teens and I had a date with the hot young sportsman of the moment - I won't name him.
"He had beautiful shoulders and very well turned biceps. He was a fine figure of a man. But when the brains were handed out, his were directed to his feet.
"He was as thick as mince, boring and boorish. He took me to the races and I don't think he could even count how many legs the horses had. It was excruciating. The only thing I can thank him for is teaching me that you shouldn't judge a man by the cut of his jib!"
Fellow Lothians MSP Brian Monteith, who like Margo is now married, admits he was rather lucky to still be walking after the first date with his wife.
"We went to the cinema to see Saturday Night Fever, and after wards we were going to a disco in Leith, and talking about the film," he says.
"I started doing all the John Travolta moves, and of course I wasn't looking where I was going, slipped on a piece of rubbish, and landed square on my backside.
"I was mortified, but she found it hilarious and married me!"
Forth Two presenter Tonya Macari remembers a first date where her partner's order was a little bit fishy. "We went to Skipper's restaurant in Leith and he just ordered the first thing on the menu, which was langoustines," she says.
"He was very confident, but obviously didn't know what they were, and when they arrived he wasn't too keen and just picked at them. He admitted to me later that he'd gone to the chip shop on his way home because he'd been so hungry!"
It turned out all-right in the end however - she and her date Stewart have been seeing each other for five years.
"I got him a bag of langoustines for our first anniversary," she says. "We went back to the restaurant this year, but unfortunately they weren't on the menu."
And they still find time for the odd dating disaster.
"We were out for dinner just a few nights ago, and we accidentally set fire to the table after one of our napkins went into the candle," she says. "I threw water in it and, when the waiter came over, there were bits of charred paper and water all over the table. He asked if everything was OK, and we were so embarrassed we both just said it was fine!"
With so many businesses set up to help people looking for love, inevitably there are horror stories from the world of speed-dating, the internet and all manner of other agencies.
Karen Koren, the festivals impresario behind Winter Wonderland and the Gilded Balloon, a 56-year-old single mother of two, has sworn off agencies after a particularly grim evening.
She says: "The worst one in recent years was a nice man I met through an agency.
"We went out to dinner to a lovely restaurant in Dundas Street but all the way through the meal all he talked about was his late wife, how ill she had become and how she had died.
"He was obviously still in love with her, which is fine of course, but as a date it was terrible. I never saw him again."
Edinburgh-born TV presenter Sally Gray recently recalled a rather awkward first date which was captured on camera for a recent series when she tried out various dating techniques in her search for a husband.
"This date doctor had organised two speed dates for me, and the first one had been OK, if a little awkward," she says. "The second guy I met in a bar, and I could tell straight away he was not my type at all.
"The organiser was tutting away and telling me to get chatting to him, so I asked what he did. He told me that he worked in IT, which was good because it meant he could sit at home and work in his pants - not a very pleasant image."
Jordison has several favourite anecdotes from his book.
"This girl had been in New York and was partying and jet-lagged, she hadn't been to bed for two or three days and hadn't managed to eat anything," Jordison says.
"Somewhere along the line in this mad sleepless party spree, she managed to attract a guy who asked her on a date. He was a really nice guy. He asked her out to an all-you-can-eat diner.
"She started guzzling and she ate loads of fried chicken really quickly. After a while, having been impressed, the guy started to become alarmed as she was still eating and eating.
"She ate so much she actually ruptured her insides, and she kept having to go to the toilet. Eventually the guy said he'd better take her to the hospital, but had to drop her off on the way in an alley so she could do her business.
"She was humiliated, and she never saw him again."
Another tale has echoes of Bridget Jones with her big pants, but in this instance it was the man whose undies were overly large. Jordison says: "There was a guy who went on a business trip, and he'd been staying at his parents the night before. He realised he didn't have any underpants in the morning so borrowed a pair of his dad's big, old-fashioned Y-fronts.
"After his meeting he managed to pick up a girl and invited her back to his room. They reached the crucial moment and he suddenly remembered he had this ridiculous pair of Y-fronts on. He just went ahead and of course, she started screaming with laughter, but they got over it. The next morning he gave her his card, which he'd forgotten had a group e-mail address on it.
"He got back to work and this girl sent a message saying: 'Had a lovely time last night, still haven't stopped laughing about your underpants!' All his colleagues received it."
And when it comes to ending things nicely, one man went a step too far.
"A couple were on their third or fourth date, and the guy took the girl out for a nice romantic walk along the river," Jordison says. "She started getting the feeling halfway along that things weren't really working and he was building up to the 'Lets just be friends' speech. So she mentally steeled herself for it, and when it came out she said 'No it's fine, I agree'.
"But he got emboldened and replied 'Well Layla, you see, the thing is, I really liked you until I got to know you'."
There's honesty and there's honesty.
FLIRTING WITH SUCCESS
Think carefully about what you wear - dress to impress, but don't go over the top or your date won't know where to look.
• Flirting is a ritual of courtship, but make sure you do it with common sense. Use touch to see how you are doing - if you touch your date on the arm and he/she doesn't pull away, you know you are going great.
• Leave on a high, early if needs be, so the other person wants to know more - don't let the date drag on.
• Go speed-dating - it will help you learn the art of small talk and conversation which will come in extremely useful for future use. Who knows, you might even meet someone!
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