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Professionals, because of their busy schedules, are increasingly using speed- and online-dating to find partners whereas the less affluent prefer SMS flirting.
Moneyweb examines each.
Online dating
How it works: Go to one of the over 30 websites, for example http://www.datingbuzz.co.za/; http://www.yesnomayb.co.za/; or http://www.lovemail.co.za/.
Sign-up for free and set up a profile then start meeting new people.
Tips: Ramon Thomas, a local internet dating expert, recommends the following:
• If you are a woman participant, place a photo of yourself on the online-dating site, as you’ll get more and better qualified responses. “Men tend to be visually stimulated, so they need pictures of you,” says Thomas.
• Spend time and effort thinking about a narrative then write a descriptive story of yourself, ie, mentioning the last movie or theatre show you went to and what you thought of it. Don't just give a list of traits you have.
• Don’t wait too long to meet your online date, as you’ll form a dysfunctional relationship. “You’ll end up falling in love with the fantasy, and set yourself up for disappointment when you finally meet the person face to face”, says Thomas.
• Meet within two to four weeks of establishing online contact.
• Rather meet people in your city because the risk of disappointment is substantially greater when you pursue someone living thousands of kilometres away.
• Users of online-dating websites say you need to beware of sexual perverts.
Number of participants: 250 000 to 300 000 active internet dating users in South Africa
Ages: The most active users fall in the 25-34 age category and this makes up 35% of the total users, says Thomas, whereas the fastest growing area, comes from women over the age of 30.
Worldwide, the number of users over the age of 40 is growing.
Profiles: According to a survey done by Thomas in 2005, which had 5 000 respondents, online-dating users are mostly men (about 54%, with some websites’ gender ratios as disparate as 70% men, 30% women. It’s also interesting to note that owners of online dating websites are men while speed dating and matchmaking businesses are run by women, says Thomas.
Those using these websites mainly work in the financial industry and IT sector, says Thomas, as they are exposed to technology all the time.
The biggest income group is users who earn between R10 000 and R15 000 a month, says Thomas. Lower income groups are also growing as more companies like the financial institutions make internet available to their staff.
Cost: Most online-dating websites allow members to receive anonymous messages and have access to their searching and matching functionality free of charge, but charge for the option to reply to or send messages to other members.
DatingBuzz SA charges R33,95 for three days, R89,95 for a month and R649,95 for a year.
How much is the industry worth: The latest research, done in 2004, valued the industry at R25m. Thomas reckons it is now worth about R35m per annum as the number of competitors has doubled in the last two years.
Why was it set up: Thomas gives the following reasons:
• Men have experienced certain psychological changes, ie, they lack confidence to approach women in the “traditional way” as they fear being rejected, therefore they find online dating easier because of its anonymity.
• Busy schedules make it difficult to go out regularly, whereas online dating gives people the ability to start a conversation and maintain it anytime and anywhere.
• The online-dating websites’ systems have extremely intelligent matchmaking technology, which doesn’t just look at photos but a combination of criterion such as, wages, the books you like to read, and food you eat, to narrow your matches. It also has the added function of making certain things non-negotiable.
• Very safe, can’t get mugged, HIV/Aids, or date raped etc.
How long has it been around for: Ten years
Speed dating
How it works: Go to one of the many websites, for example http://www.smartdate.co.za/; or www.xfactordates.com/speeddating/za to discover when they will be holding their speed-dating events. Click on the one that suits you and book.
Go to the event.
Once there, says SMARTdate, a representative will meet you. You will be given a name badge and a sheet to fill in about the people you meet. This will also allow you to mark off your matches at the end of the function.
Either all men, or all women will be seated in the same place for the event. The opposite sex will move from person to person every five minutes.
At the end of the evening, you can hand in your matches to a representative, or enter these on the website the following day.
The following day your website user account will be updated and you will be given e-mail addresses for people that ticked you and that you ticked.
Tips: Jenny Cereseto, owner and manger of SMARTdate, recommends the following:
• Think of the questions you would like to ask before hand.
• Keep them simple, because you only have five minutes with the other person.
• Be honest.
• Try to bring out the best in a person.
• Ask general questions to get an idea of their character.
• Listen to the other person and answer the questions as honestly as possible
• Keep an open mind; don’t come with a preconceived idea of the perfect man.
• Understand being single is fun; it is not a sentence.
• After a match has been established arrange your first date!
Number of participants: Usually 15 men and 15 women at an event.
Ages: Late 20s and 30s, but depends on the event, says Cereseto.
Profiles: Varies. The target market are those in the financial services, advertising industry, and professionals who have access to the internet and don’t have time to go to clubs, says Cereseto.
Mostly white collar.
Depend on the event, says Cereseto, some of SMARTdate’s events are just for high-flyers and CEOs.
More women then men, says Thomas.
Cost: R150-R1 000.
How much is the industry worth: /
Why was speed dating set up: Cereseto gives the following reasons:
• People’s hectic lifestyles and jobs make it difficult to meet for the purpose of dating.
• It is a safe way to meet single people.
How long as it been around for: About three years.
SMS flirting
How it works: Send an SMS with the keyword “flirt” to 34123 and follow the SMS instructions in each message, says Flirtnet.
You will then be asked for information about yourself followed by a question relating to the gender of people that you would like to meet. Just follow the instructions in the SMS by replying to each message.
Once registered send a keyword that corresponds with the action you want. For example, says Flirtnet, new, finds another member of the FlirtNet community for you to flirt with, and block, blocks further messages from a specific member.
Tips: /
Number of participants: Flirtnet has about 20 000 active SMS flirts daily, says Jannie Theron a developer at the company.
Ages: All
Profiles: Across the board.
Equal amount of men and women users, says Theron.
Cost: Each SMS that you send to the Flirtnet service is charged at R2, there are also various subscription packages.
How much is the industry worth: /
Why was it set up: Theron gives the following reasons:
• It’s easy and fun
• Completely anonymous
• You can flirt anytime and anywhere
• You can meet people of the right age group
• You can chat to people in your area
• You can’t be touched directly
• System also has a blocking mechanism
• Convenient way of finding people with similar interests.
• You can experiment with the idea, as no commitment is required.
• You can stop flirting when you want.
How long has it been around for: Four years
Once you’ve examined all the options limit your choices or else you will never get the full benefit of the dating system you use, says Thomas.
According to research done by Barry Schwartz, Dorwin Cartwright professor of social theory and social action in the Psychology Department at Swarthmore College in the USA, the abundance of choice leads to decision paralysis, says Thomas.
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