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1. Lose the losers - How sad would it be to have the love of your life come along and you miss it because you are caught up with some loser? This is what can happen when you keep someone around that you know is not right for you just to have someone around. Lose the losers.
2. Available? Great. Are you ready? - If you have gotten rid of the losers, then you are available. But are you ready? Being ready means there is room in your life for a relationship - physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually.
3. Create your top 5 requirements - A requirement is a "gotta have." It's a non-negotiable must have. A relationship will not work for you if a requirement is missing. So what are your non-negotiable must haves?
4. Create your top 5 needs - A need must be met in order for you to be happy in the relationship. Needs are different from requirements in that needs can be negotiated as to time, place, when, where, how, how often, etc. When a need is not met it raises an issue that needs to be resolved.
5. Create your top 5 wants - A need is the icing on the cake. It would be nice to have all your wants, but it is not necessary. It would be great for someone I am with to like smooth jazz music, but it's not something I "gotta have" in order to be happy.
These three components, requirements, needs and wants, are important to know because they make up a significant part of your relationship map and plan.
Avoid your favorite dating traps - Your favorite dating trap is a pattern you frequently find your self in in relationships. They are traps because they prevent you and the relationship from being genuine, and when the reality sets in the relationship can fall apart. An example is the marketing trap, which is when you believe you have to look and act in a way that is not you in order to get a relationship.
6. Scout-Sort-Screen-Test - Scouting is keeping your eyes open for potential partners. Sorting choosing from the prospects you noticed which ones are suitable to pursue further. Screening is checking to see if a person meets your requirements, needs and wants. Testing is seeing, through real life experiences, whether this person is the right person for you.
7. No Lone Rangers - No one is successful alone. Build your community and support group of like minded people that support you in your quest to find the love of your life. They may know someone that you could never meet in any other way.
8. Have a Plan - Work Your Plan - List your requirements, needs and wants, scout, sort, screen and test, and pursue what is right for you and leave alone what it not. Don't settle!
9. Attitude is All - Your attitude determines your outcome. If you go out there with the attitude that all the "good ones" are already taken, that is what you will find. If you go out there with the attitude that it only takes one and you are going to find that one, then that is what you will find as well.
10. Exercise Your Choice Muscles - We all have the power of choice. We can be the chooser. Don't just settle for the first person that likes you back. There are two important choices to be able to make:
1. Unchoosing relationships that are not right for you, and
2. Choosing relationships that are right for you.
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