|
LOVE and marriage still apparently go together like the proverbial.
That's according to a major new survey about relationships which has found more than two-thirds of Australians continue to believe people marry to signify a long-term commitment to each other.
Making a public commitment was also highly rated by the 1200 adults surveyed for the 2006 Relationships Australia "Relationships Indicator" study who were asked what they thought were the main reasons people got married, as was providing security for children.
Seventy per cent of the respondents were involved in a serious relationship – most of those were married (41 per cent), while a fifth were in live-in de facto relationships.
The agency's Queensland chief executive, Andrew Davis, said people still loved marriage as an institution.
"There's a romantic view of it, but there's also a view that you'd like people to know you've made a commitment," he said.
"But I think people think about marriage more than they used to – it's a more conscious decision.
"Traditionally it was very much an expectation and it was more about having a family and you couldn't have children until you got married. Now it's more of a social contract."
The survey showed that simply being in love fell a poor second to friendship and companionship when people were asked what was the best thing about being in a relationship.
Asked why people may elect not to marry, the majority cited "a previous bad experience" or commitment phobia as the two most likely reasons.
Many also rated a fear of making a mistake or divorce and the painful cost of both.
Lola Mashado and Les Myles, both 52, are up for another go at marriage.
"Yes we've both been married before and we have plans – we've committed to spending our future together," Ms Mashado said.
"I'm not calling it an engagement, we're a bit too old for that. But I'm wearing a ring that I call a commitment ring."
She said before she and Les became more than friends, they'd talked a lot about what they both perceived would constitute a good, healthy relationship, what were some of the traps they'd fallen into before and what were the relationship-in-trouble warning signs.
Ms Mashado and Mr Myles said said their recipe for a happy relationship was for it to be built on a foundation of friendship.
There needed to be a tolerance for each other's differences, a willingness to celebrate the similarities and plenty of time spent together.
In other findings 88 per cent of survey respondents believed more relationships faced hardship these days because of difficulties balancing work and family life, with just over one third saying they had no real choice when it came to balancing work and family commitments.
Being a good partner and parent was important to 90 per cent of respondents, followed by having a paid job.
Younger people were more likely to consider earning a lot of money as very important than older Australians.
Overall more people in 2006 than in previous surveys rated economic success as important to them.
"This change may reflect increasing overall levels of employment and income," the report said.
"It certainly highlights the competing nature of work and family life in Australia today."
| 
