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There's nothing shameful about going it alone over the holidays.
But if I have to listen to my cousin tell me about her perfect new boyfriend once more over turkey and cranberries, holiday fare will be forever ruined.
That's how I found my beer-loving self ordering a glass of wine at the Belmont one recent Tuesday, surrounded by well-dressed single people.
Something I've learned about single life is you don't look for dates in a bar, especially not on a Tuesday. That is, unless the bar is holding a happy hour sanctioned by a nonprofit.
If your place in the world involves nice clothes, professional career goals and caring about stuff, you've probably been to one of these.
The ballet, symphony and most of the museums have "young friends" groups that hold social events, as do many of the civic and volunteer groups in town. They aren't singles groups, but whenever 20- and 30-something professionals gather, it's a singles scene.
The mecca of all professionals' happy hours was at the Belmont last week, hosted by four organizations: Young Women's Alliance, Young Men's Business League, Catalyst 8 and Austin Under 40.
Slap on a name tag, grab a glass of Chianti and saunter up to someone you think you might have seen at last year's event. One guy called it the "recycle model" — come to three such events and you start to recognize people.
Such continuity could be bad for serial daters but good for those who won't date without validation, references or just a little reassurance.
"I don't want to meet a guy in a bar," Holly says. "I want to meet a guy doing good."
But these parties often do take place in a bar, or in this case, under a tent on the roof of the Belmont.
Women were in heels and skirts and sipping wine. Men looked to have dabbed on a bit of hair gel with button-down shirts and were approaching at will. Unlike a normal night at a bar in Austin, they moved freely among groups, all with the reassurance that the person coming up to you probably isn't "living in their mom's basement doing heroin," as Andrea put it.
Underneath the laughing, flirting and meeting, the event wasn't about dating. It's about being a part of something that extends beyond happy hours and singles mingles.
Single life can be lonely — most of us can't meet up with friends or family for breakfast, dinner and grocery shopping every day — and sometimes it's tough to feel like part of the community.
These groups fulfill that need without ignoring the desire to mingle with likeminded folks — who won't hold you captive to talk of their newfound love.
The Austin social calendar over the holidays is full of such events. Some are members only, others are more open. Come for the community, not the dates.
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