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For our recent study of the world of Internet dating, we asked visitors to www.ConsumerReports.org to share their experiences with the online singles scene. We also assessed the privacy policies at five of the industry’s biggest and best-known sites, and recruited an unmarried staff member to subscribe for one month to each of those sites.
Here’s some of what we found:
•Of the five sites — AmericanSingles, eHarmony, Match.com, True and Yahoo Personals — only True states that it checks the background of applicants at registration, screening information against a criminal database and public marriage records.
•With each site, you start by answering questions about yourself and your potential mate, checking boxes to indicate a wide range of preferences. Each site also adds a space where you can describe yourself and the person you seek.
•Three sites — eHarmony, True and Yahoo Personals — offer a compatibility test, which they use to try to pair members based on far more than likes and dislikes. The computer-processed tests are optional at True and Yahoo Personals and required at eHarmony. At eHarmony, you can be deemed unmatchable, and be rejected.
•You can peek into each of the five sites before opening your wallet. All of them offer advice — what to post in a profile, tips about online-dating safety — that is free to anyone. Basic one-month subscription fees range from $25 (Yahoo Personals) to $60 (eHarmony).
Some visitors to our Web site reported good experiences with online dating. Others had typical singles-scene laments: Men wanted only a physical relationship; women weren’t intellectually compatible; everyone wants a millionaire; matches didn’t meet criteria. Our staffer had a few complaints of her own. Although she asked for a man within five years of her age, she got a reply from a Match.com member more than 20 years her senior. (His profile described his favorite oily massage.) Once, she looked for her latest matches at AmericanSingles and found two with different ages, user names and profiles — but the same photo.
As for privacy, the sites’ policies varied. Although a spokeswoman for AmericanSingles told us the company “does not sell its members’ personally identifiable information,” neither does the site promise that that information “will always remain private.” Match.com states that it may share your personal information with other companies whose names are displayed on the site, who in turn may use it “in accordance with their own privacy policies.” For its part, True has been certified for privacy and security protection by more than one independent group. All the sites, meanwhile, let you block e-mail from certain members or report bad behavior.
All the sites, too, renew your subscription automatically unless you cancel directly. Most, however, will not grant a refund if you bow out early. What’s more, your profile could remain active and viewable on these sites until you notify customer service to remove it permanently.
Which site best meets your needs? That depends on what you want out of the relationship:
•If Internet dating gives you pause, try True, whose screening of members and customer-friendly privacy policy make it especially reassuring.
•If you favor matches close to handpicked, eHarmony is a good bet.
•If you just want the basics, try Match.com or Yahoo Personals, which have a simple, well-organized setup.
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