Chanceforlove.com
   broken translations of Russian brides

Essentials archive:
Resources archive:
Articles archive:
Facts on Russia:


Is Dating Making You Crazy?

Date: 2006-12-05

About three weeks ago a friend and I went to see a play about crazy people, or rather how their world makes them a bit mentally unstable. One of the scenes included a young woman and man, both single, who met at a party, and presents the excitement, confusion and the anticipation of making the initial phone call to ask someone out. As I watched, I realized that these two slightly off kilter people were not abnormal from the rest of us who are actively dating, and I began to wonder if dating is making us crazy.

Consider all the self-help books, dating advice columnists (I consider this column to be simple pontification), and the growing number of dating coaches and dating services. You can even talk with a shrink over the phone to help you conquer your dating problems. Everyone has a point-of-view to offer to help singles become couples. And everyone wants to make a dollar off of the 100 million single people in this country. On top of it all, we are constantly going through the emotional ups and downs of dating. It could be just enough to push us over the edge.

If we think of all the people we meet, the hope that they’ll call – or say yes to a date, dealing with the let down or the anticipation of a first date, and the desire that the person will want to go out with us again… it’s a lot to deal with. It can leave you wanting to pull your hair out.

Unfortunately, at some point, how we see our dating lives – as a success or failure – begins to affect our everyday lives and ultimately how we think of and see ourselves. Eventually, this self-doubt can bleed into other relationships and into our careers. It’s time to realize that our lives are not defined by who loves us and how, but how we love ourselves.

I’ve often wondered why I hear how more and more people are “taking a break from dating”. Now I understand, the emotional roller coaster we ride can suck all the positive energy out of us leaving us with very little to give other areas of our lives. It might sound like we’re giving up, but emotionally we just need before dating does make us crazy with frustration, and leave us nothing to give Mr. or Mrs. Right when they do come along. Sometimes we just need to step back, take a breather, be still and not long for the things we think we want in life.

We realize that in order to create and maintain a healthy relationship, we ourselves, must have a healthy mental state not just towards life but more specifically in the idea of relationships. Once we allow ourselves to begin to see relationships as a necessary evil that will automatically fail, we cut ourselves off from ever having the potential of a healthy, loving and vibrant relationship.

When it comes to actual mental illness, and not a hypothetical sense of craziness, it’s no secret that most people believe that women have a higher rate of mental illness than men, especially unmarried women. (“The Relationships Between Sex Roles, Marital Status and Mental Illness”, Social Forces, Vol. 51, No. 1 (Sep., 1972), pp. 34-44. Walter R. Grove, Vanderbilt University). Grove states that this only perpetuates the idea of the carefree bachelor and the woman who feels rejected and hence becomes depressed, because apparently that’s the only thing we have going for us in life. On the flip side, this article actually goes on to prove that married women are the one’s who end up with high numbers of mental illness and that their single counterparts are much happier in general.

If that is true, I say that if you’re a single woman enjoy your sanity while you have it. Today you are able to make plans at the last minute, live life by your own rules, stay out until 3a.m. without checking in with someone for approval, and treat yourself to expensive shoes after a bad day at work. Tomorrow you’ll be juggling a job, husband/wife, children, soccer, dance class, friends and family, and forget about those expensively fabulous shoes or the last minute trip to Vegas.

Dr. Joel Rachelson, Director of Conscious Singles, suggests that our level of dating insanity is due to two facts: 1. it is hard to find peace in being single when we’re conditioned to be part of a couple, and 2. it’s a challenge to meet other singles who are as conscious as we are as people and what we’re looking for – long-term relationship vs. just sex. I read this as confidence in who you are as a person and timing. Although, if all the single people you’re meeting happen to be drunk, or you’re drunk, in a bar you might want to begin reconsidering your strategy towards meeting conscious singles.

At the end of the day, when I’ve dug through the Internet as much as I can stand, there is no absolute evidence that the trials and tribulations of dating can make you certifiably nuts, but, nonetheless, it still feels as if it will.

The trick is to change your point-of-view. Instead of allowing yourself to feel let down by being turned down by someone you don’t even know, just let it roll off. When did someone we barely know define who we are or how others see us? We all need to remember that eventually the timing and the person will be right, and everything up until that point makes great conversation at happy hour.





Your First Name
Your Email Address

     Privacy Guaranteed



GL52081914 GL52068236 GL52081962 GL52080057


  

      SCANNED March 28, 2024





Dating industry related news
Help for bullied bridesOnline Dating Blunders - The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women OnlineMarriage-for-visa scam
You're a terrified 15-year-old girl. You're being subjected to daily harassment, beatings and emotional blackmail, regularly locked in your bedroom and told you can't go to school. You suspect you are going to be raped and your parents are perpetrating all this. Forced marriage involves assault, false imprisonment and sexual abuse. Families can also kidnap young women, and sometimes men, after they have been taken 'on holiday' abroad. Alone in a foreign country without money or their passport,...Here are the top ten things that you should avoid when contacting women online. This will be the most important online dating and relationship advice that you read all year. Mistake #1: Sending her 'just' a wink Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free. But what does this say to her about you? When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that's not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 member...The small island country of the Dominican Republic is littered with makeshift ballparks, bursting with young boys who have big league dreams. Rene Oriental was once one of these young kids with big dreams. The 22-year-old grew up playing on a dusty field in the small town of Monte Cristi, where dirt roads abound and electricity runs sporadically. He appeared to be on his way to the big leagues when he signed a $100,000 contract with the Kansas City Royals in 2001. But two years ago, Oriental m...
read more >>read more >>read more >>
ChanceForLove Online Russian Dating Network Copyright © 2003 - 2023 , all rights reserved.
No part of this site may be reproduced or copied without written permission from ChanceForLove.com