|
The latest census has revealed that as many as 50 percent of Moscow residents are living their lives in solitude, without burdening themselves with any long-standing commitments. But many still dream of finding a significant other.
Last year the Center for Demography and Ecology at the Demographic Forecasting Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences released the final results of the 2002 census. Sadly, it transpires that nearly one-half of adult Russians had no spouse at the moment the census was held, the magazine Imeyesh Pravo wrote this month.
Anatoly Vishnevsky, head of the center, says that in the early 2000s, out of 1,000 Russian women of all ages 175 had never been married at all, 180 were widows and 110 were divorced. In Moscow the situation was somewhat better, with 219 women who had never been married per 1,000, 101 widows and 106 divorcees.
The situation with male residents is more optimistic but only because men are fewer. Russia has 1,147 women for every 1,000 men.
At first it may seem that solitude is the deliberate choice of many Muscovites. The average age at marriage has risen over the past years. While in the early 1990s people tied the knot at the age of 21 to 22 these days brides on average are 23 y.o. while fianc?s are 25. Moreover, the public opinion on institution of marriage is changing.
According to statistics cited by Natalia Markova of the Institute for Socio-Economic Problems of Population, today 78% of Moscow residents back the idea of living in an unmarried partnership, 10% shun any commitments and favor free love and only 12% are for building a traditional family.
“For women to get married there should be men willing to tie the knot,” says psychologist Boris Novoderzhkin. “But Russia suffers an acute shortage of such men. To begin with, men are fewer; secondly, the economic situation sows certain fears in them. For example, many fear they will not be able to support their families. The same is the reason why women are unwilling to get married. Emancipation is flourishing. The woman thinks first and foremost of her career— again out of fear of being left penniless. The higher is her income the tougher are her requirements.”
Meanwhile both men and women suffer from loneliness. A recent survey held by the public opinion center ROMIR reveals that as many as 60% of Moscow residents said loneliness was one of their main problems. Each third call received by psychological aid hotline is made by people who have no-one to talk to, to tell about his or her problems.
Psychologists claim that people in large cities have ceased making acquaintances with each other. Generally cautious and tightlipped, most confine themselves to a narrow circle of childhood pals or colleagues.
That is why so many people have affairs at work. “All ’serious’ girls I met after graduation were my colleagues, and my wife is no exception,” lawyer Andrei Vassiliev says. “There was no other place to meet someone. You spend ten hours a day at work and then go home. On weekends you meet your university pals. As a result, the only place to meet a girl is your office. Even more so as there are things to discuss.”
But some still meet each other the old-fashioned way. “Just like before people meet through friends, in places where like-minded persons meet, such as gyms, theaters, movies or even through online forums,” psychologist Yelena Golunova says. And although it is commonly believed that marriages are made in heaven sometimes they happen on the Web. A popular website for motorists, www.auto.ru, was a venue where five couples found each other. “Polls reveal that some 70% of Muscovites do not object to getting acquainted on the street or in public transport. The main thing is to make the first step, to take the risk,” Golunova says.
Moscow is believed to have several locations where a girl has good chances of hunting down her Mr. Right. Those are all sorts of VIP parties, opening ceremonies of fashionable boutiques, restaurants etc. For example, a famous Moscow marriage broker catering to the affluent clients, Pyotr Listerman, recommends posh restaurants Vanil, Galereya, Maria and Vogue Caf?, as well as restaurants operating at luxury hotels as best venues for finding a date.
Those who are not very sociable and do not have time to spare may turn to an online marriage agency or look for a new love in personal classifieds. Others may attend parties, organized by specialized firms for people to meet each other. Founder of one such company, Flirtanika, Valery Bocharov, launched his project three years ago, after his friend had parted ways with his wife and asked Valery to help him meet someone new.
The friends decided to throw a party for their acquaintances and urged their guests to bring their own acquaintances along. The party proved a success and people started asking Valery when the next party would take place. So he held one more party, and then another. These days Flirtanika hosts parties each week, attended by 80 to 120 guests. The ticket costs $30. Dress code is casual but no sportswear is allowed.
People attend the parties to find a wife or a mistress. One guest, Bocharov recalls, was looking for a secretary. They all look perfect during interviews the client explained but he said he wanted to look at them in real life. A professor of a Moscow university met his student at one of Flirtanika parties, Valery recalls. “Sometimes people intentionally conceal their income. I remember two men coming here wearing T-shirts with funny inscriptions. Then I was told that one of them headed a large Russian firm. He did not want women to cling to him because of his money, so he concealed his identity. He took his deputy along, in order not to feel bored,” Valery says.
Finding a wife or a husband through a marriage agency in Moscow costs $500 to $1,500. Respectable agencies advise their clients on how to prepare for the first date, order a table at a restaurant for the future couple and call both afterwards to find out about their progress. Women are offered services of professional hairdressers and cosmetologists. Applicants are required to fill in a detailed questionnaire, indicating among other things their bad habits and past criminal record (if there is any) but few agencies look deep into their clients’ past. Therefore, there is no guarantee against fraudsters, although agents claim they know a fraudster when they see one…
Moscow also has a variety of dating clubs, many of which have existed for decades, hosting dancing parties that are very popular with the seniors, for example. Also there are clubs for making friends with people who have the same interests or hobbies, or even religious affiliation. Charity Jewish foundation runs the club Mishpuha, which stands for “family” in Yiddish.
|
